We're Having a Baby
by quiethearted
Summary: Miranda, Cruella and Andy are having a baby. Heaven help us all!
1. And Baby Makes Four or Five

And Baby Makes Four, Or Maybe Five, NC-17

Andy rushed up the steps of the townhouse. Cruella had called her demanding to see her immediately. Used to her lover's histrionics, Andy had attempted to calm Cruella with an explanation that she'd be getting off work in an hour and would meet her then, but Cruella had been insistent. Her last statement, that a child's life was at stake and Miranda needed Andy there as well, had Andy on her feet and grabbing for her purse. Fearing that something was wrong with one of the twins, Andy had ran six blocks before finding a cab and then left it behind in a traffic jam to race the remaining four on foot. Her hand shook so violently that it seemed to take forever to get her key in the door. At last she heard the satisfying click and flew into the house, slamming the door behind her.

Andy ran through the house shouting for Cruella and Miranda alternatively until she heard a soft voice respond, "Andréa darling, whatever is the matter?"

"Cru—Cruella ca-called," Andy gasped, fighting for breath. "Th-the girls. Are th-they alright? What's happened?"

Miranda looked back over her shoulder at someone behind her who was as yet out of sight and frowned. "Really, Cruella, must you always be so dramatic. You've frightened Andréa half to death."

Cruella moved to stand next to Miranda at the top of the stairs. "But, Lovey, it is dramatic, exciting, thrilling!"

"What the hell is going on?" Andy snapped, losing her patience. "I thought one of the twins was half dead or something. I left without finishing my story and you know I'm on a deadline. One I'd have been well ahead of if you two hadn't kept me up all last night."

Visibly shivering, Cruella clutched Miranda to her side. "Last night was divine, was it not? And the only 'no' I remember you voicing was followed by 'don't stop!' so don't act as if it was all our fault. Now come upstairs and let us tell you the glorious news."

Grumbling, Andy trudged up the stairs. Honestly, sometimes Cruella made her just want to scream and not in a good way, though there was that too. At the top of the stairs, they laid a kiss on each cheek and taking Andy's arms escorted her into the newly enlarged study. Miranda had had a wall knocked out and added the space of the now defunct third guestroom to create a workspace big enough for them all. Not that Andy ever managed to get any work done with both of them in residence. She might be significantly younger than both, but their combined libidos were eventually going to be the death of her. Though they were quite content to play together, it was apparent from the beginning that she, Andy, was their favorite toy. If they weren't careful one or the other was going to wind her too tight and then they'd be faced with a broken spring of the worse kind.

Miranda shoved Andy gently into a chair while Cruella poured them each a drink. Andy could tell they were both practically vibrating with excitement and she felt a moment of disquiet. To have both her lovers this wound up about something at the same time usually meant a migraine for Andy. Miranda had always been decisive and levelheaded, but somehow Cruella managed to eradicate all of Miranda's common sense in mere seconds when they were in consensus on a topic. Luckily, they seldom agreed about anything and Andy had learned to prefer their bickering to a united front of Dragon Lady and Wicked Witch of the Catwalk.

Taking a fortifying drink, Andy stared from one to the other as they sat side by side on the couch across from her. "All right, what's going on?"

"We're having a baby!" Cruella crowed, clapping her hands together in delight.

Andy knocked back the rest of her cocktail in two healthy swallows. "Which one of you is pregnant?" she asked, terrified of the idea of rampaging hormones from either of them added to the mix of their daily lives. She wasn't the least bit concerned about their fidelity, but she wouldn't put it past either one of them to have headed off to a fertility clinic on their own or arm in arm.

"Andréa, do be serious. Of course, neither Cruella nor myself has any interest in being pregnant at our ages," Miranda huffed.

"So not you," Andy gestured to Cruella who shook her head adamantly, "or you," she indicated Miranda who nodded her agreement. "Well, that only leaves…" Andy's eyes grew wide. "Oh, just hold on one damned minute here! Do I even get a vote?"

"Really, Andréa, of course you get a vote. There are names to select, an obstetrician to pick and the donor, we can't forget about the donor."

"I meant a vote on whether or not I wanted to even have a baby right now," Andy interrupted. "And what do you mean NAMES? What names? That's plural. Plural implies more than one baby. I don't even know for sure I want one yet and you've already put me down for two or more. I've got rights here, you know?"

"This is not a Federal case, Andréa," Miranda scoffed. "It's a simple discussion on the possibility of expanding our family."

"I'm not hearing a discussion," Andy objected. "I'm hearing an announcement of impending birth!"

"Oh, Darling, we know you're not pregnant yet," Cruella gushed. "But you're young and healthy. We'll have you knocked up in no time!"

"My god, Cruella, must you be so crass," Miranda sniffed disdainfully.

"You don't call it crass when I'm talking about having my mouth full of your p—"

Miranda clamped her hand over Cruella's mouth before she could continue. "We've had this discussion before, Cruella. You will confine such talk to the bedroom."

"Hmmpf, you never complain when we don't confine sex to the bedroom. I don't understand why I can't talk about it in other places as well," Cruella huffed, crossing her arms over her chest and poking out her lips in a pout.

"Is it so terribly ridiculous to request some modicum of propriety outside of our sexual endeavors?" Miranda shot back, pursing her lips and flashing Cruella an icy glare. "We are not barnyard animals."

"Some of us are not. I distinctly recall hearing you baaaaaaaa last night while you were rutting with Andy," Cruella sniped, eyes shooting fire.

"Will you two stop!?" Andy shouted. "Damn. Sometime I have to wonder if you even like each other."

Cruella turned a shocked look on Andy as tears shimmered in her eyes. "B-but I adore Miranda!"

"I love Cruella with all my heart," Miranda insisted, blue eyes bleeding hurt at the suggest that the reality was otherwise. "How could you question that, Andréa?"

They wrapped their arms around each other and sniffled softly into each other's necks.

"This isn't your first drink, is it?" Andy asked suspiciously. "When did you two get off work today?"

"Hours ago," Cruella sniffled. "I called Miranda and she met me for lunch. When I told her my idea she was hesitant at first but soon saw what a joyful addition a child would be to our lives."

"Yes, I did have my concerns at first, but the thought of a precocious little girl the sheer image of you was so enchanting that I quickly saw Cruella's point," Miranda explained.

Andy sighed. It really wasn't fair that both her lovers could drain a distillery and show no outward sign of it until they came up with one of their mad drunken plots. Though she supposed she shouldn't complain. That was, after all, how they came up with the idea to seduce her. "Have you two thought about the logistics of getting me pregnant in the first place?" Andy figured it would be a good idea to know how far along they'd gotten in their master plan.

"Oh, yes, Darling," Cruella said gleefully. She grabbed for one of her voluminous handbags that sat beside the couch and dug around in it frantically. "Now where did that go to? Oh, here." She whipped out a turkey baster and waved it around. "I thought the do-it-at-home method might be fun."

Andy burst out laughing while Miranda pinched the bridge of her nose and groaned.

"Cruella, dearest," Miranda began. "That method is a myth. It simply does not work."

Cruella pouted. "No?"

"Umm, well, actually, I have heard of it working," Andy admitted, but quickly held up her hand to forestall Cruella who brightened considerably at the pronouncement. "But that's not how we'd go about it. If I agree to this, and that's a big if, we'd go to a clinic and have it done by a doctor."

Cruella glared, exposing her teeth. "No! That simply will not happen!"

"I need a drink," Miranda muttered, rising and walking to the bar. She reached for Andy's glass as well as she passed, earning a grateful look, though Andy was none too sure Miranda needed more alcohol. As she prepared the drinks, Miranda asked over her shoulder as if not wanting to actually face the answer, "Cruella dearest, what could possibly be your objection to a nice, safe, sanitary physician?"

"That would require some stranger touching our Andy down there," she gestured vaguely towards Andy's lap. "I won't have it!"

Accepting the offered glass from Miranda, Andy sent her a "Do you want to handle this one?" look only to receive a negative response. Great. Sometimes Andy suspected their lover was more than a little unhinged. At other times she was sure of it. This was one of those times.

"Cruella, baby, I want you to listen to me," Andy said sitting forward. "I have a doctor, a gynecologist, who gives me an exam every year, a pap smear. That's very similar to what you're talking about with artificial insemination."

"You let some random MAN touch you?" Cruella asked aghast at the concept.

Andy looked to Miranda for help, who turned away from them both as if she'd never met them before. Miranda never had patience when Cruella started to mentally swing from the chandelier.

"He's not a random man, he's a highly trained professional with years of education," Andy explained.

"I don't like it, not one bloody bit," Cruella snapped. "You will cease seeing him immediately."

Miranda spun around and glared at Cruella. "Now listen up, you ruddy loon, you see a gynecologist yourself every year. Now stop this nonsense immediately."

"That is entirely different," Cruella sniffed. "And I am not a loon. I simply have a mild dissociative condition of which you are well aware. That was unnecessarily cruel, Miranda. I shan't forgive you."

"And why exactly would I want to be forgiven by you?" Miranda hissed, rising to her feet to tower over Cruella. "The truth is often nasty, but it's about time you heard it."

"Not from a middle aged crackpot like you, you ruddy cow," Cruella shot back, standing up to go toe to toe with Miranda.

"I'll have the baby," Andy said quietly.

"What?"

"What?"

Two head whipped around to face Andy, their argument forgotten.

"I said, I'll have the baby," Andy replied. "Miranda will make the arrangements. You'll both be there so Cruella can make sure nothing funny goes on. You will not fight over decorating the nursery. If you can't agree, I'll pick a third option and you'll both like it. Oh, and I'll pick the name, or names, whatever. And no more fighting. It's bad for the baby. I'll at least get nine months of peace out of this. Agreed?"

"Agreed!" Miranda and Cruella chorused as they flew at Andy scattering kisses over her face.

Andy sighed as two sets of hands began to take possession of her body. She'd make the deadline if she worked through lunch tomorrow, though she wouldn't put it past those two to send a caterer to her office. She really did love them both dearly as trying as they could be, and if she were entirely honest, she did want a child, or children, with them. She just hadn't planned on doing it today. Two sets of lips latching onto her nipples drove any other thoughts from her mind. Andy could do nothing more than feel as her two lovers each slipped in a finger to claim her core. She fleeting hoped they at least let her rest during the delivery as her first orgasm of the night crashed over her.


	2. In-law Wars

In-Law Wars

Rating: PG-13

Andy sat in the physician's waiting room between her two lovers. Miranda, for all appearances, was bored and shooting off texts to various people, not pausing in her work for even this. She kept her back pivoted toward them. Miranda habitually appeared as if she didn't know them when Cruella approached the borderline of an all-out eruption in public, and often in private. Cruella, on the other hand, was glaring at all and sundry, curling her lips and snarling, daring anyone to come near her precious Andy Darling. Andy was beginning to have concerns for the doctor's well-being as Cruella's clawed glove started to rake parallel cuts in the arm rest of her chair. Placing a restraining hand over Cruella's destructive appendage, Andy leaned over and murmured, "Cruella, baby, calm down. It won't be much longer."

"Really, Cruella, medical costs are ridiculous enough without you adding redecorating the waiting area to the list. Not that it couldn't use it," Miranda sniffed disdainfully.

"He's going to touch her, Miranda," was Cruella's only explanation.

"If you can't behave, you'll be confined to the waiting area for the duration of the visit," Miranda warned.

"Ummm, Miranda, do you really think that's a good idea?" Andy asked, sudden visions of an irate Cruella let loose on the other patients with no one to rein her in.

Huffing, Miranda turned in her chair to look at them both. "Very well, Andréa. You might be right." Holding out her hand to Cruella, Miranda snapped, "Gloves. Now."

Cruella's eyes widened. "But they're new! The tips were diamond encrusted by Harry Winston!"

"They are also lethal weapons on your fingertips," Miranda insisted. "Think of it as evening the odds for the poor physician."

"He could have a scalpel or some other medical instrument of torture," Cruella argued with narrow eyes. "I might have to protect our precious Andy."

"As I said, evening the odds. One scalpel against one schizophrenic lunatic," Miranda snapped.

"I am not schizophrenic!" Cruella hissed.

"Yes, yes, I know…a mild dissociative disorder," Miranda said in a bored tone. "Which makes you no less dangerous when you perceive Andréa to be threatened. Now, the gloves, if you please."

"I don't please," Cruella snapped, folding her arms to hide her glove-encased hands protectively in her armpits. After a moment, she took on a placating visage. "I'd protect you too, Miranda."

Rolling her eyes, Miranda glared at Cruella. "As if I'd need the protection of one such as yourself who cannot control her baser instincts. The gloves, Cruella."

Sitting between the two, Andy was beginning to feel as if she were at Wimbledon as she swung her view back and forth between the two. There was a definite love/hate relationship between her lovers, though Andy was never sure if they hated loving each other or loved hating each other. Either way, it definitely kept things interesting. She could only imagine what it would be like when the baby arrived. They'd be like two rabid mother bears, a grizzly and a polar. Andy smiled to herself at the aptness of the description. Cruella was all teeth and roar, while Miranda's expression would never change as she moved from placid to ripping out someone's throat with lightning swiftness.

Andy was startled from her thoughts as Cruella's hand entered her field of vision to lay the offending gloves in Miranda's palm. She had lost track of the conversation during her musings.

"You can have them back when we leave," Miranda said.

"And I get Andy Darling to myself for an entire hour tonight?" Cruella asked.

"Yes, Cruella. That was the arrangement," Miranda assured her, patting the hand that was still suspended between them as if to snatch the gloves back if Miranda should renege on her promise.

It was Andy's turn to roll her eyes. She wasn't quite sure when she'd become Miranda's primary bargaining chip in controlling Cruella, as she was Cruella's in getting Miranda to do her bidding. Andy had to hand it to them, it always worked. There was always a little thread of jealousy between the two where Andy was concerned. It wasn't so much that they each wanted Andy to themselves exclusively insomuch as that they each wanted to assume the Alpha role in their relationship. Somehow time alone with Andy had become the indicator of that. Andy covered her secretive smirk with one hand. The truth was that she, Andy, was the Alpha, but it wouldn't do to let the two ruthless, egotistical overachievers know that. As long as they were battling for perceived control, Andy could steer them where she wished. She wasn't sure she'd have as much luck being in a relationship with just one of them.

"Andrea Sachs," the nurse called from the door.

Cruella leapt to her feet. "What about her?" she snarled, curling her now disarmed fingers warningly.

Andy rose to look down at Miranda. "She's yours for the duration. Handle her. I have enough to deal with. I hate these exams."

Sighing, Miranda rose and moved to take Cruella's elbow. "Darling, do you trust me?" she asked the irate Cruella.

"Yes! Of course! How can you even ask, My Love?" Cruella's eyes reflected hurt that Miranda wouldn't just know.

"Then trust me to tell you when it's time to go on the offensive. Until then, be the sweet, gentle Cruella I know you have hidden somewhere beneath that mountain of lunacy," Miranda encouraged, patting Cruella's forearm.

"You'll tell me? The moment I need to rip and destroy? The exact instant?" Cruella asked, searching Miranda's eyes for assurance.

"The split second," Miranda replied.

Convinced Miranda had their more excitable lover well in hand, Andy followed the nurse, not waiting to see if the other two were behind her. She always knew when they were near. She could feel their presence lifting the fine hairs on the back of her neck. To the right, was a barely controlled enraged heat and to the left, icy restraint. Each affected her, but together they had her nerve endings tingling constantly. Andy shook her head, chuckling softly. Trust her to fall in love with two women that most people couldn't handle singularly. Taking on them both left Andy thinking at times that it wasn't Cruella that was the crazy one in their relationship. A person would have to be a raving lunatic to take on both a dragon and a witch, and love every moment of it!

The exam wasn't as traumatic as Andy had expected. Cruella for the most part refrained from acting out, though every time the doctor came near Andy she'd growl low in her throat and look at Miranda hopefully asking, "Is it time now?" At the negative shake of Miranda's head and murmured, "Not yet, Dearest," Cruella would return to glaring and growling. By the end of the session, the doctor pronounced that Andy should have no trouble getting pregnant, though the poor man had developed a pronounced tic in his left eye, the one nearest Cruella.

An appointment was made for two days' time to begin the insemination procedure, arranged by Miranda who had spearheaded the selection of a donor, though with a female fertility specialist, insisted on by Cruella who had the current doctor considering a change of profession. Why a strange female was preferable to "touch Andy Darling down there," as Cruella continued to refer to the procedures, than a male, Andy had no idea. The workings of Cruella's mind were often a mystery to her, which might explain why the volatile woman intrigued Andy so completely, but then Miranda's thought processes were equally as mysterious the majority of the time. Never let it be said Andy didn't love a challenge.

The next one in the series that was her life, Andy wasn't looking forward to at all. This involved telling her parents and not just about the baby. She hadn't yet told them about her romantic situation. Groaning, Andy rubbed her eyes and stared out the front windshield of the car, wedged as she was between Miranda and Cruella in the back of the town car. Her mother was going to freak and her father wouldn't be far behind.

"Are you all right, Andy Darling?" Cruella asked, concerned. She reached for Andy's hand, though carefully, since she had re-donned her now returned gloves.

"I'm fine. Just thinking about telling my parents."

"Whatever for?" Miranda asked as if it had never occurred to her that anyone needed to know their plans but them. Well, outside of her girls, of course.

"They're my parents, Miranda. What if it were Caroline or Cassidy? You wouldn't like finding out from some third party or the gossip rags," Andy explained patiently.

"That is entirely different, " Miranda sniffed.

"No, it is entirely not different," Andy insisted. "They have a visit planned in two weeks anyway. I'm telling them then. It's better to do it in person."

"If you feel you must," Miranda acquiesced grudgingly.

"Will we be meeting them?" Cruella inquired with a sly glance.

"I don't know. I suppose," Andy commented offhandedly as she rubbed her forehead trying to ease the tension headache that was forming. Then it hit her what Cruella had actually asked. "Meet my parents?" she squeaked, visions of total disaster amping up her headache exponentially.

"You're not ashamed of us, are you?" Cruella asked, her voice dripping hurt.

"No! Of course, I'm not," Andy denied.

"Just me then?" Cruella offered with a broken-hearted sigh.

"Damn. No, Cruella, I'm not ashamed of you at all. I love you both so much. It's just that my parents are ultra conservative. And," she glanced worriedly at Miranda, "they still remember what it was like when I worked at Runway."

"They think I'm the devil personified," Miranda guessed accurately.

"Nonsense!" Cruella objected. "If anyone is the devil, it's me. You're the epitome of patience and kindness, Miranda." That Cruella truly believed her pronouncement was clear in the adoring gaze she turned on Miranda.

"Only in comparison, Darling." Miranda returned the affectionate look. "To the rest of the world, I'm a royal bitch of the diamond jubilee variety. You must remember that I don't treat my assistants the same as I do Andréa and yourself, and Andréa was my SECOND assistant so she caught most of what I flung."

Cruella shifted, her expression disgruntled. She didn't like to be reminded that Miranda had ever treated their precious Andy as anything less than the goddess that Cruella felt she was. Knowing this, Andy squeezed her hand.

"It was my job, Cruella, and long before any of us began to have feelings for each other," Andy tried to reassure her.

"That is not entirely true," Miranda offered quietly.

Andy looked at her in surprise. "Which part? I mean, it was my job, right?"

"Yes, yes," Miranda agreed, waving the question away. With an exasperated sigh, she continued, "It is not however true that it was before feelings developed, on my part at least."

"Keeping secrets, Miranda. How delicious! Share!" Cruella released Andy's hand to rub her own together greedily.

A faint blush covered Miranda's cheeks and she turned her attention out the window beside her causing Andy to smile affectionately. Miranda could never look at them straight on when she confessed to something that embarrassed or frightened her. She'd been the same way the first time she professed her love for them.

"Andréa's interview. Not at first. It was much less than impressive to begin with, but at the end when she stood up and stated her attributes so intently, I felt a stirring. It was something I hadn't experienced in a long while, not since the first time I met you, Cruella." Miranda glanced lovingly at them before returning to her intent study of the passing scenery. "It frightened me just as much the second time. Like you, I knew Andréa would want things I couldn't give, though I couldn't allow her to just walk out of my life either. So I sent Emily to bring her back."

"You let me walk away," Cruella said, sniffling.

"At the time, there was not another viable option, Darling." Miranda reached back blindly and unerringly found Cruella's hand to form a tight bond. "Had there been, I would not have let you escape either. My treatment of Andréa during that time was directly proportional to my desire for her. Then she walked away too. I was devastated. To have lost you both in one lifetime was more than I could bear. When you came to New York and I read the interview you had done with Andréa, I was terrified that the two of you would form a bond that I would be excluded from so I sought you out."

"You seduced me to keep Andy and I apart? How deliciously Machiavellian of you!" Cruella crowed.

"I seduced you because I was helpless to do otherwise," Miranda corrected. "Though I will admit the other did cross my mind. I am not a saint, far removed from it, I'd say. Learning that you were also enthralled by our Andréa was both enlightening and titillating. It was only then that I began to maneuver events and situations to bring the three of us into contact."

Having suspected Miranda was behind their all getting together, Andy leaned over and pressed a gentle kiss to the velvety skin of her cheek. "I'm very glad you always have to arrange things to suit your purposes."

Miranda offered them one of her rare, glittering smiles. "Then you're not angry? Either of you?"

Andy shook her head in the negative as Cruella practically vibrated with excitement.

"Not at all angry," Cruella assured her. "I find your machinations to be arousing in the extreme, Darling. You make me exquisitely hot and wet when you're at your most devilish. It makes me want to eat you alive."

Glancing toward the back of Roy's head, Andy sighed. It's not like he hadn't heard worse. Cruella seldom tailored her speech to the presence of others.

"As long as I'm still alive when you're done," Miranda said calmly.

"You most assuredly will be," Cruella assured her, grinning maniacally. "However would I do it again if you weren't?"

Andy chuckled lightly and then pressed back into the seat as they both turned their attention to her. "Oh, no, you don't! Both of you, hands in your lap! Sit on them if you have to. I will not be mauled in the back of this car in broad daylight!" Andy could see Roy's shoulders shaking as he fought laughter. "Touch that privacy screen button and you're a dead man, Roy," she warned. He was much too quick to have the other two's back in these things for Andy's comfort. Everyone in Miranda and Cruella's employ was. As Emily as explained it to Andy once, "Better they should shag you to death, than kill the rest of us with suppressed hormonal rage." Though she applauded their strong self-preservation instincts, she wasn't as thrilled that she personally was their first line of defense. When Roy chuckled openly, Andy decided to up the ante. "Think about what would happen if I insisted on sleeping in the guest room ALONE for the next week, and blamed you for it." She smiled smugly as the man visibly cringed when Cruella growled and Miranda hissed. She hadn't watched her two lovers manipulate the world in general all this time without learning a few things.

Andy had no sooner stepped through the door of Cruella's mansion than she found herself grasped and woman-handled into the nearest powder room. Glancing at the small box waiting for her next to the sink, Andy sighed. "You could have at least waited until I got my coat off!" she called through the closed door to the four she knew were pacing the foyer. The twins had gotten as bad as Miranda and Cruella since learning of the possible baby in all their futures.

Folding her coat, she left it and her bag on the counter to begin reading the directions on the box. Opening it she dumped out the test stick and the more explicit instructions inside. She was only halfway through reading those when Miranda knocked firmly on the door.

"Are we pregnant?" she demanded.

"I don't know yet. Hang on," Andy called back.

"Buggery bollocks, how long does it take to ruddy whiz on a stick?" Cruella snarled loudly to the hysterical giggles of the twins.

Andy grinned as she prepared herself to urinate for the test. Miranda had given up trying to control Cruella's vocabulary in the privacy of their home. She had given Caroline and Cassidy a stern lecture about not adopting the same habits though.

Their home. It sounded so nice. So many changes had taken effect in the past twelve days. The night after her insemination Andy had commented offhandedly that as her stomach grew the beds in their respective domiciles would become too small to house all of them, not that Andy's wasn't already. An utter stillness had descended over the room as Miranda and Cruella looked at each other in alarm. Sated and drowsy from their hours of lovemaking, Andy hadn't paid enough attention to the tension in the other two. Who'd have thought that the idea of sleeping without her in the middle for a couple of months would cause the two to go into Domineering Field Marshall mode?

In four days' time, the three households were combined into Cruella's mansion; plans had been drawn up to expand the current Master Suite and to convert the nearest bedroom into a nursery; and the second floor of the west wing was to become their new study while the twins were given control of the east wing's second and third floors for bed, entertainment and study rooms. Construction was already nearing completion for the changes and the current, too small, temporary study was made even smaller by the vast number of sample books and fabric swatches that covered every spare surface. How Emily and Alonzo had managed it all, Andy would never know.

Thankfully, Miranda and Cruella seemed to be working in something that could almost be described as harmony. Andy had her fingers crossed that it would continue. So far she'd only had to referee one major explosion over the decorating themes when Cruella wanted to do their bedroom in Jungle Modern while Miranda was leaning strongly toward French Provincial. Andy had solved the problem by having all their various bedrooms' furniture spread out in the massive garage and insisting they pick from the lot to furnish their current sleeping space. She'd stated firmly that she wanted familiarity for the nesting phase of her pregnancy and the two had leapt to combine their disparate styles into one cohesive vision. Andy had learned quickly that as she was their primary bargaining chip, the pregnancy was hers. Miranda and Cruella would do anything for the child they weren't even sure existed yet and Andy was careful to never take advantage of that love. She played the baby card only to keep harmony in their family.

That tonight was the soonest she could take the home pregnancy test was an indication of just how excited Miranda and Cruella were about the addition to their family. As she sat waiting for the time to pass until the results, Andy could hear the sharp clicking of two sets of stilettos augmented by the gentle thud of dual pairs of sneakers pacing outside the door. The sound lulled her as she thought of the baby that might well be growing within her womb even now. She jumped at a rapid pounding on the door.

"Drink some bloody water!" Cruella shouted.

Glancing at her watch, Andy grinned. "Two minutes, Cruella, and you'll know."

"ARGHHHHHHH!" Cruella screamed. "That's a bleeding eternity!"

"Cruella, histrionics do not help," Miranda chastised.

"Babies don't like yelling," Andy heard Cassidy add. From the first, Cass had always had a soft spot for Cruella, and was often found to play the dual roles of Cruella's protector and mentor in navigating the unfamiliar waters of family.

"They don't?" Cruella sounded surprised at the pronouncement. "Are you sure? They always seem to do enough of it themselves."

"That's just how they communicate. They cry less as they talk more," Cassidy explained, her voice drenched in patience and affection.

"I'm expected to translate the baby's crying?" Cruella shrieked in horror. "I don't speak crying!"

"Cruella, you have caused enough people to cry in your lifetime that you should be fluent by now," Miranda snapped.

"In fear, yes! As have you! I have no experience with 'change my diaper 'cries or 'heat my bottle' cries. This is too much!"

The staccato beat of one pair of stilettos picked up drastically and Andy could imagine Cruella pacing frantically while flailing her arms about. She was uncommonly happy to be locked in the bathroom with a urine soaked stick for this discussion.

"If it is a diaper issue, that will be readily apparent. No, don't ask, Cruella. You don't wish to know at this juncture. Just trust me when I say it will be apparent," Miranda explained with something that resembled patience dipped in exasperation coloring her tone. "As to the bottle issue, I imagine Andréa will wish to breastfeed."

"Breastfeed! But that's my job! You didn't say I'd be replaced!"

Andy who had hopped up on the counter to listen almost fell off in her attempts to muffle her laughter. Cruella really did love her breasts, but then so did Miranda.

"Girls, please go upstairs," Miranda said tightly.

"Mom, you can't kill Cruella," Cassidy cautioned.

"Yeah, Andy wouldn't like it and she might be pregnant," Caroline joined in.

Checking her watch again, Andy peeked at the stick and decided now was the best time to head off the impending argument. Her news should divert everyone nicely. Hopping down, she opened the door and leaned against the jamb. "You all need to quiet down. You're going to wake the baby."

Four pairs of blue eyes stared at her in amazement and then a joyous shout went up from all of them. The twins were jumping around and yelling while Miranda and Cruella fell into each other's arms kissing happily. "We're having a baby!" they congratulated each other.

"Hey! I'm the one that's going to be doing all the work," Andy objected in mock anger.

"Darling!" Cruella gushed, enveloping Andy in a tight hug.

"Squishing the baby," Andy yelped as those deceptively thin arms squeezed her ribs.

Cruella jumped back and Miranda took her place, embracing Andy gently.

"I'm so happy, Andréa. You'll stop working immediately, of course," Miranda instructed.

"Whoa! Don't even start with the barefoot and pregnant thinking, Miranda. I'll continue to work for as long as possible," Andy stated.

"But.." Cruella began only to snap her mouth shut as Andy pointed a warning finger at her.

"Now that that's settled," Andy gave each of them a warning glare, "who's up for taking the expectant mother out to celebrate?"

Four hands shot up, well, five since Cruella voted twice, and they all went to change while Cruella shouted for Alonzo to bring the Rolls around which earned even louder squeals of approval from the twins who loved the unique vehicle. Andy smiled and chuckled softly. Damn, she loved her family.

Andy paced the hotel lobby. "Mom, Dad, I want you to hear me out before you get upset. Right, Andy, like that won't panic them from the first word. Dad, I know you didn't receive the best impression of Miranda when you visited while I worked for her. Oh, yeah, remind him of that disaster. I want you both to be as happy for me as I am. Mom, Dad, I'm pregnant!"

"You're pregnant!"

Andy jumped with a squeak. She'd been so intent she hadn't realized her parents had walked up behind her. "Ummm, yeah. I took a home test two days ago and it was positive."

"So it hasn't been verified by a physician?" her father asked, ever the attorney.

"Well, yeah, he did a test yesterday morning. I'm definitely pregnant."

"That will help," he commented as her mother rushed to embrace Andy.

"There won't be a paternity test, Dad," Andy informed him, rolling her eyes. "We used a donor and he has no rights at all."

"We?" Ellen Sachs jumped on the pronoun. "You're involved with someone enough to become pregnant and you haven't told me before now? You had to be trying for a while if you've already had fertility screenings."

"It's sort of a long story, Mom. See there's no man involved, other than the donor, that is."

"No man? Then how…" Ellen grabbed for her husband's arm as the picture evidently clicked into focus. "A woman? Since when?"

"About a year. Listen, there's more, but it might be better if we talk in the car." Andy glanced around uncomfortably. Paparazzi were everywhere, especially in the lobbies of the finer hotels. It was a truth Miranda warned her about repeatedly before allowing Andy to pick up her parents alone. She escorted them out the door and across the sidewalk to where Roy stood waiting. It had been decided that this would be easier to explain than Alonzo and the Rolls. It was going to be hard enough to explain living just outside the city on Cruella's estate. Once they were all settled in, Andy shifted slightly to see both her parents better. "It's, ah, a bit more complicated than you think. You see, I'm not just involved with a woman. There are two of them and there are already two children."

"A married couple? You're the plaything of some rich married couple," Richard hazarded a guess, his disbelief apparent.

"No, Dad! Nobody's married!"

"So the three of you are just living in sin and randomly producing children?" he asked aghast.

"Mom, help!" Andy turned to her mother for assistance as she always had when trying to explain something complicated to her father.

"Help?" Ellen asked in disbelief. "I'm on your father's side in this one. Though I do think it might help if you let her present her evidence and hold your questions for the cross-examination, Richard."

He nodded, though clearly grudgingly.

"There's no gentle way to say this so I'm just going to blurt it all out, okay?" Andy wiped moist palms on the front of her trousers and took a fortifying breath. "Here goes. I'm involved with Miranda Priestly and Cruella DeVil in an exclusive relationship. We all live in Cruella's mansion along with Miranda's twins and we're having a baby together. They're all my family and I love them very much."

Dead silence met Andy's pronouncement. She fidgeted nervously waiting for someone to say something. When it came it wasn't quite what she expected. She'd thought they might think it, but never expected it to be the first comment.

"Our daughter has lost her mind, Ellen."

"Andy, Miranda Priestly is a royal bitch and Cruella DeVil is a homicidal maniac. What were you thinking? Were you brainwashed or threatened?" Ellen asked, staring at her daughter as if she'd never seen her before.

Roy grunted in displeasure which only fueled Andy's anger. "Miranda is a wonderful woman and Cruella is just a bit eccentric."

"She kidnapped puppies! To make a coat! She's a criminal!" Richard snapped.

"She is not! That was just a misunderstanding," Andy lied quickly. Cruella had been under a great deal of strain when all that happened and now realized that her actions had been wrong. Okay, maybe not wrong exactly, she'd simply developed a dislike for incarceration. Andy had cinched Cruella's intentions to remain on the right side of the law by explaining lesbians couldn't have conjugal visits. She still had a fondness for black spots though. "They love me and I love them."

"Andy, see reason," her father encouraged.

"Okay, here's reason for you. I'm an only child." She rested her hand on her stomach. "That makes this little one the only possible grandchild. Do you really want to risk losing both of us?" If she'd learned anything from her lovers, it was how to play hardball. "I can take you back to your hotel, and we can go our separate ways." She waited a moment to let the option and its consequences sink in before continuing. "Or we can go on to the mansion for dinner. You can meet my lovers," she used the word intentionally, "and two more potential grandchildren. What's it going to be?"

"You've never spoken to us in such a way in your life, Andy," her mother admonished with tears in her eyes.

Their eyes were so similar that Andy saw what always caused Miranda and Cruella to rush to her side when she was upset. She couldn't let that deter her so she hardened her resolve. She wanted her parents in her life and knew them well enough to know that a grandchild was the key to dispelling her mom's objections while cold, hard fact worked best for her dad. Though she felt a twinge of conscience, Andy was fighting for her family, all of them. "Nothing has ever been this important before."

"You don't leave us much choice, Andy," Richard said, sighing. "I suppose we can at least meet these women."

"Then dinner it is," Andy said with a smile. She only hoped Cruella wouldn't decide to go for the shock factor. You never knew with Cruella though. She hated authority figures and perceived her lover's parents to be just that. When Andy had left the mansion, Miranda had been intently explaining the importance of this visit to Cruella. At the same time, a perverse side of Andy's personality, the side that was attracted to Cruella in all her amoral glory, wanted her lover to show her extreme side just to get the whole thing over with.

Alonzo was there to meet the car as it pulled up in front of the imposing, somewhat gloomy mansion. Though Miranda had spread her influence throughout the interior, she and Andy had agreed that the exterior of the American version of Hell Hall should remain a testament to Cruella's unique personality. So their home looked a bit like the set for a really gory horror movie; the twins thought it was awesome and couldn't wait to have their friends over. Andy tended to agree with them and was looking forward to a similar event.

Richard and Ellen paused on getting out of the vehicle and stared at the edifice wide eyed.

"If Dracula is hiding in a closet, I will walk back to Cincinnati," Ellen joked weakly.

"It is kind of unique, but I promise there are no vampires in residence. Just a dragon and a witch," Andy teased.

Richard gave a half-hearted chuckle. "Why doesn't that reassure me?"

Andy laughed. "Don't worry, Dad. They're housebroken…mostly."

She led the way into the mansion. After directing Alonzo to take everyone's coats, she escorted her parents into the vast living room.

Miranda stood before the fireplace looking every inch the fashion queen, resplendent in draped black silk. "Andréa, dinner will be served shortly," she said coolly.

A step further into the room revealed Cruella, posed regally in a high-backed, elaborately carved chair. Andy bit her lip to keep from laughing at her choice of apparel, a black over white suit that was divided in color from the tip of one shoulder diagonally to just above the opposing knee and trimmed in imitation black spotted white fur. Andy shot a glance at Miranda who lifted an eyebrow in response, her eyes brimming with a humor that was not reflected in her chilly expression. Miranda had evidently given up attempting to control Cruella and decided to join her little rebellion instead. It was going to be an interesting evening.

With everyone else introduced, seated and Alonzo retrieving their drinks order, Andy sat on the arm of Cruella's chair nearest Miranda. It grounded her to be between the women she adored and she felt the need for a little grounding right now.

"I suppose under normal circumstances this is where I'd ask your intentions towards my daughter," Richard began gravely. "But seeing that Andy has informed us she's pregnant that seems to be a moot point. So instead I'll ask what happens when the two of you tire of your little game?"

"Daddy!" Andy gasped.

"Richard!" Ellen admonished.

Cruella growled while Miranda looked decidedly bored. "You clearly do not know Andréa well, if you imagine anyone could tire of her in several lifetimes," Miranda drawled. "She is remarkably skilled for one so young."

Andy groaned, wondering if it was too late to go sit on the opposite side of the room, away from the fall out.

Richard's jaw tightened, but like the good attorney he was he leapt on the most vital, to him, aspect of Miranda's statement. "She is young, too young to interest the two of you for long."

There was a creak as Cruella's glove claws bit into the other arm of her chair. Andy hoped it wasn't a priceless antique, though she suspected that wouldn't slow Cruella down at all. When Cruella didn't respond verbally, Andy suspected the two had elected Miranda spokeswoman.

"Therein lies the fallacy of your argument, Andréa, despite her youth, is the lynch pin that holds us together. It is her large, loving heart that keeps our more volatile personalities from self-destructing. If you knew her as we do, you'd understand her power to bring out the best in her partner, or partners as the case might be, just with the sheer power of her love. So do not assume this will end as long as there is breath in one of our bodies."

"Which will be long before Andy goes, since you're both much older," Richard shot back. "What then? How does she care for the child then?"

"I told you to just let me kill them," Cruella said, shooting an accusing glare at Miranda. "It would simplify things drastically."

Andy rolled her eyes as her parents blanched. "Killing equals prison," she reminded Cruella. "And you know what that means."

"Only if I'm apprehended," Cruella responded with a winning, though maniacal grin. "Horace and Jasper are remarkably adept at hiding bodies."

"There will be no killing of parents, Cruella," Andy stated firmly.

"I am having absolutely no fun," Cruella declared, looking away and pushing out her lips in a pout.

"The very idea of causing harm to Andréa's parents is a marvelous example of your inability to connect with reality," Miranda snapped icily. "How could you even begin to think she'd condone such an action? Concealing the bodies protects you from the law. It doesn't address the pain you would cause Andréa. How many times must I explain this?"

"The simplest solution is the best," Cruella stated firmly. "I don't have your squeamishness to contend with."

"Sanity is not squeamishness," Miranda charged.

"I'm as sane as you are, you bloody cow," Cruella snapped, rising to tower over Miranda.

Sighing, Andy propped her elbow on the back of the chair and rested her head on her knuckles. It was always best to settle in and wait for the right moment to deflect them. She glanced over at her parents and smirked at their shocked, fearful expressions. Andy supposed a full out DeVil/La Priestly battle was scary for the uninitiated, but she'd seen far too many of them to be impressed.

"You're as crazy as a ruddy bedbug," Miranda hissed, her long-buried British accent rising to the fore as it frequently did when Cruella pushed her buttons just so.

"I'm crazy? I'm not the one trying to reason with two blighters who hate our bleeding guts," shrieked Cruella.

Though shorter than Cruella, Miranda glared up at her unafraid, "I should have you committed like the lunatic you are!"

"I can just as easily hide three bodies," Cruella threatened.

"Are you two about done?" Andy asked calmly.

"I—"

"Well—"

"Which part of 'Please don't show your asses in front of my parents' did you both not understand?" Andy asked coldly. "Was that entirely too much to ask of you two?"

"Andréa, you know that Cruella—"

"Cruella wasn't arguing with herself, Miranda," Andy cut in. "You know how important this is to me. Yet, you couldn't behave yourself for one evening, either of you." She shared her disappointed glare between them. "What kind of life is this going to be for our child with you two at each other's throats all the time? Am I going to have to find a separate residence for me and the baby so I can limit your influence?"

They were instantly contrite, moving to assist Andy from the arm of the chair and into its seat. They knelt on either side and embraced her.

"We'll endeavor to be more cohesive in the future, Andréa," Miranda promised.

"Please don't leave us," Cruella asked, tears shimmering in her eyes. "We can't make it without you."

Slipping her arms around their shoulders, Andy held them to her breast. "I don't want to leave you, but it's not just me anymore. I'm going to be a mother and I have to do what's best for my baby."

"Our baby," Miranda corrected.

"Yes, our baby," Andy agreed, smiling. She released them and cupped a chin in each hand. "I don't want our baby thinking the two of you hate each other."

"But we don't!" Cruella gasped. "We only fight because making up is so much fun."

Andy threw back her head and laughed. "I love you both so much. I know how you feel about each other and about me, but babies don't understand that kind of thing. You're going to have to do a little better about getting along peacefully."

"Why do you put up with us, Andréa?" Miranda asked, the Sachses clearly forgotten.

"I just told you-I love you," Andy responded, placing a soft kiss on Miranda's lips.

"Even me?" Cruella asked. "I'm so much more trouble than Miranda. She's always very controlled until I incite her."

"I've always known Miranda was a passionate woman, but only you bring it out where we can all see it, Cruella. It's just one of the many things I love about you." Andy kissed Cruella before continuing. "You don't seem to realize that I can't live without you both. You're the two halves of my heart. We talked about all the risks when we started. The differences in age, money and social standing didn't mean anything then and don't now." Andy looked at her parents. "Cruella could clear the National Debt and still live well the rest of her life. Her family comes from the nobility. Miranda is a self-made woman, but she may yet catch Cruella in wealth if half the things they have planned work out. I've insisted on palimony pre-nups with both of them."

Miranda and Cruella turned and sat on the floor, leaning against Andy's lower legs with their own tucked to the side away from her. Andy's fingers played gently in their hair.

"And we insisted on establishing irrevocable trusts for Andréa and our child before we went to the clinic for insemination," Miranda added. "We want an equal partnership, you see, and the only way to do so was to insure Andréa's financial security. Your daughter is now a wealthy woman in her own right. She doesn't need us for that."

"Our precious Andy's grandchildren will be able to live well off the trusts we established," Cruella said with pride. "We all have such plans! We're each strong women alone but together we're a force to be reckoned with."

"Yes, we are, Darling," Miranda leaned over to kiss her lover across Andy's thighs. "It is always preferable to be on the winning team, don't you think, Richard?" She gave him an icy smile that barely curled the tips of her mouth while Cruella offered her own sharp toothed grin.

Richard and Ellen returned to their suite after a mostly comfortable meal.

"Is it all right if I'm slightly frightened of the fact that our little girl can control those two barracudas?" Richard asked with a shiver.

"When they placed Andy in my arms the day she was born, I never imagined I would see the day she turned Miranda Priestly and Cruella DeVil into lap puppies," Ellen responded dropping on the bed, emotionally exhausted.

"Don't mention Cruella and puppies in the same sentence!" Richard yelped.

"She can't hear us, Richard," Ellen said, exasperated.

"Somehow those two would know," he said shivering.

Ellen shrugged and turned her mind to what was, for her, the more important topic. "We're going to be grandparents."

"Yes, I suppose we are," he agreed. "I just wish we had slightly less lethal in-laws to go with the baby."

Smiling, she extended a hand to him. "Don't worry. Andy will protect us."

"But who's going to protect Andy?" Richard groused, joining her on the bed.

"Cruella and Miranda," Ellen answered him emphatically. "And heaven help anyone who so much as looks at our daughter wrong. Even the monsters in the closet and under the bed won't dare go near that house."

Richard nodded agreement, strangely satisfied to know that his little girl was safer than Fort Knox, even if her lovers did scare the pants off him with just a look. He couldn't help wondering though what would happen to the obstetrician who dared to slap that baby's butt. Shuddering, Richard rolled to the side and kissed his wife. Something things were better not to think about.


	3. An Uneasy Truce

The alarm clock had not yet sounded when Andy's eyes flew open and she rolled across Cruella, who gave a loud "Oof!," in a mad dash to the bathroom, slamming the door closed in passing. The sounds of violent retching echoed through the otherwise quiet bedroom. Cruella shook Miranda, causing her head to flop back and forth on the pillow.

"This had better be good," Miranda bit out, eyes still closed.

"Our darling Andy is sick! You must wake up at once!" Cruella cried, still shaking Miranda.

Delicate eyelids rose, and one eyebrow continued the movement, arching as Miranda opened her eyes. "I don't believe I talk in my sleep; therefore, I am awake," she snapped. "Desist woman-handling me!"

"Oh!" Cruella squeaked, releasing Miranda's shoulder. Another round of retching caused her head to whip toward the door. Her hand followed her eyes to point out Andy's location. "Andy's sick!"

"And you're telling me this instead of being in there, why?" Miranda sneered, even as she rose and walked around the bed.

Cruella's eyes grew round. "She's vomiting!" she hissed. "You have children. You're experienced."

"Cruella, you have vomited in your life." Miranda had reached the door and was reaching for the knob.

"Yes, I have, but I've never dealt with someone else doing so. Well, except that one time, but that was a poisoning and he deserved it," Cruella snapped.

Miranda shook her head, not wanting to know the details. Opening the door, she saw Andréa kneeling on the floor. "Are you ill or is it something you ate, Andréa?" She dropped to her knees behind Andréa and gathered her long hair back.

"Morning sickness," Andréa choked out before beginning to heave again.

Miranda slid an arm around her waist and held her until the spasm passed. Rising, she wet a cloth with cold water and bathed Andréa's face. "I'll see that crackers are left next to the bed. They helped with my pregnancy."

"No chance," Andréa sighed. "The sickness woke me. I barely made it here what with climbing over Cruella."

"Perhaps it would be better if you slept on the outside until this passes," Miranda suggested while rinsing and re-wetting the cloth to press on the back of Andréa's neck.

Andréa rested her hand over Miranda's, holding the cold cloth in place. She nodded weakly. "You tell her."

Miranda groaned. Cruella would not take the news well.

"Absolutely not!" Cruella shrieked.

Miranda pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed. She had helped Andréa back to bed and then dragged Cruella off to the study. She now stood leaning back against her desk, facing Cruella who sat on the long, leather couch. "Andréa cannot continue to vault over you while dealing with morning sickness. If it continues beyond the norm, her abdomen will be much larger and harder to manage."

"Beyond the norm! You mean she's going to keep being sick indefinitely?" Cruella shuddered. "I will not stand for it! It will stop immediately!"

"Cruella, you can't just demand that it stop. This isn't about you; it's about the baby," Miranda explained, trying to be reasonable.

"The baby is causing this?" Cruella demanded, narrowing her eyes.

Miranda nodded and was surprised when Cruella leapt to her feet and started toward the door.

"Where are you going?"

"To speak to the baby. She must stop this as once! I won't have it!" Cruella called over her shoulder.

Miranda rushed over and grabbed Cruella's elbow, pulling her back to the couch. "Get down off the chandelier and listen to me," she snapped. "The baby isn't doing it per se. Andréa's body is adjusting to the pregnancy. Producing hormones to promote the baby's growth. It's the excess of hormones that are making her ill. She'll adjust soon, and the sickness will stop. We simply must be patient and supportive."

"I don't do vomit!" Cruella growled.

"If you plan to be this child's parent, I suggest you change your attitude. This baby was your idea. Now you will just have to deal with the rest," Miranda directed sternly.

"Bu-but, I'll be sick, too!" Cruella confessed, looking away.

Miranda sighed, taking Cruella's hands in hers. "Very well. I'll handle the morning sickness, and you will see to the cravings."

Cruella frowned in concentration. "What will I be craving?"

"Not your cravings-Andréa's," Miranda snapped.

Sighing in exasperation, Cruella pursed her lips. "What will Andy be craving?"

"I have no idea. Whatever takes her fancy. Ice cream and pickles for all I know."

Cruella looked decidedly green. "At the same time?" she gasped.

"Possibly."

"Must I watch her eat them?" Cruella asked, shuddering.

Miranda glared. "You will if Andréa requires it for her comfort. Now stop being such a big baby. One infant in this family will be entirely enough."

"I'm not being a baby," Cruella sniffed, blue eyes glistening with tears. "I've never been pregnant. You have."

Sighing, Miranda looped her arm around Cruella's shoulders and drew the bi-colored head to her shoulder. "Each pregnancy is different. I have experience but not with Andréa being pregnant. We'll manage this together, Darling. If something concerns you, come to me. We will take turns sleeping in the middle until the morning sickness resolves, though we may have to do so again if Andréa finds it difficult to maneuver during the last weeks of her pregnancy. Whatever happens, you and I must not argue in front of her. We promised and we don't want Andréa upset. It's not good for the baby."

Cruella nodded. "Yes, Miranda."

Something about hearing Cruella say those words filled Miranda with an almost overpowering sense of dread.

Miranda was in the middle of a run through when Emily stepped in to tell her there was a call on line one.

"Do you not see that I'm busy? I believe answering the phone and taking messages is your job, Emily. If you're unable to do so, I can remedy the failure quickly," she snapped. Miranda knew she was being more waspish than usual, but Andréa did insist on being ill in the early hours of the morning, long before the alarm clock even got close to chiming. Between that and Cruella tossing and turning from being displaced, Miranda was getting very little sleep.

"It's Ms. DeVil," Emily said by way of defending herself.

Miranda sighed and rubbed her eyes. "Five minutes. That's all you have to fix this atrocious display. I suggest you make use of each second." She turned her back on her staff, who hurried from the room, and moved to her desk to take the call. "Cruella, dear, what's wrong? Why are you calling on the office line instead of the cell?"

"Andy threw my phone out the window," Cruella said, sniffling.

Miranda dropped into her chair, flabbergasted. That did not sound at all like Andréa. "Why ever would she do that?"

"She doesn't love me," Cruella whimpered.

"Nonsense. Of course she loves you."

"No, no, she did, but no more. I should probably pack or something," Cruella said, sounding far too pathetic for Miranda's liking.

"Cruella, it's your house," Miranda pointed out.

"It's our house," Cruella corrected. "I had papers drawn up transferring the title to the three of us. They're on my desk. Just scratch my name out. I'll go quietly."

"I'll be home shortly. Do. NOT. Leave." Resting the receiver back in its carriage, Miranda rose and strode into the outer office. "Coat, bag," she snapped, tapping her toe impatiently. "Tell the three stooges they have until 9 a.m. to fix that disaster. Cancel the rest of my day and anything for this evening. That's all!" She didn't wait for an answer as she swept from the office.

In the car, Miranda stared blindly out the window. There had to be some misunderstanding. There was no way Andréa had simply ceased loving Cruella. Why she would throw the phone out the window Miranda couldn't imagine. Now if Andréa had thrown Cruella out the window that would be different; Miranda had had that urge many times in the past herself. She'd find out soon enough. Miranda just hoped Cruella stayed put until she got there.

Miranda remained locked in her thoughts throughout the trip. As Roy came to a stop in front of the mansion, Miranda watched Alonzo hurry out with a suitcase under each arm. She rolled her eyes as he tried to jam them into an already overflowing trunk. It looked like Cruella was attempting to pack half the enormous home into one Rolls, and the ever faithful Alonzo was doing his best to accede to her wishes. Miranda slipped from the car and mounted the front steps.

"Where is Cruella?" she snapped.

"Sh-she's in the s-s-study," he gasped, trembling in fear.

Miranda stalked into the house and mounted the staircase. Entering the study, she found Cruella trying to shove a too-large book into a too-small bag. "That isn't going to fit," she observed.

"Yes, it will!" Cruella snapped, shoving the book in. She held it up, hands grasping the sides of the bag. "See!" she crowed triumphantly.

Miranda looked at the lower half of the book extending out of the torn bottom of the bag. "I do indeed see. Now please sit down, and tell me what's going on."

"I don't have time. I must finish packing. Andy will be back soon and I must be gone." Cruella hurried over to the shelves and pulled down yet another oversized book.

"Darling, Andréa will be brokenhearted if she comes home to find you've moved out. Now do sit down." Miranda settled on the couch and patted the cushion beside her.

"Miranda, I don't have time for this. There is still a great deal to do."

Opening her coat, Miranda relaxed into the cushions and draped her arms along the back of the couch. She watched Cruella twirling about the room like a mad dervish for a moment. "Have you worked out how you're going to manage leaving Andréa without leaving me?"

Cruella froze in mid-twirl and looked at Miranda, dumbfounded. "Wh-what?"

"I still love you and have no desire to be parted from you. So you must have a plan for remaining with me while also leaving Andréa," Miranda remarked reasonably, though truthfully she wanted to toss Cruella out that window after her phone. This entire situation was ridiculous.

Cruella looked down at the figure she now had in her hands as if it held the answers she needed. "I don't suppose you could go with me?" she asked hopefully.

"Then who would care for Andréa?" Miranda responded. "And what of Cassidy? Have you explained any of this to her? She adores you and will be devastated if you just disappear."

Frowning, Cruella dropped the figurine into a chair. Miranda cringed, hoping it wouldn't continue from there to the floor. The artwork was quite old and priceless.

"Cassidy?" Cruella gasped. "Oh, my poor little darling will be so upset." She brightened suddenly. "You could let me take her with me."

Miranda shook her head. "I'm afraid not, Darling. They're a matched set. I really can't break them up."

Cruella seemed to melt as sadness replaced her frantic energy. "I'm losing everything, aren't I?"

"Mmmm," Miranda hummed, nodding. "Perhaps if you told me what happened, I could help you find a way to keep some little part."

Glowing, Cruella hurried to take the seat beside Miranda. "Oh, would you? Now let's see. I was on my phone dealing with this terribly irritating little man who absolutely refused to understand that I simply will not pay for substandard material, and darling Andy was taking a nap. I had barely gotten to the part where I was going to threaten him with bodily harm if he didn't credit my account when Andy suddenly shot up from the bed." Cruella threw up her arms, startling Miranda as she demonstrated. "Then she grabbed my phone and tossed it out the window. Then she told me to leave. I came to the study and tried to figure out what I was going to do. When I went back to the bedroom to speak to her, Andy had left a note telling me to move out while she was at the doctor's office." Cruella sniffled as tears welled up. "I called you and began to pack."

None of it made sense to Miranda. "Could I see the note, please?"

Cruella drew a crumpled slip of paper from her pocket and held it out with a trembling hand.

Miranda took the note, noticing that it seemed rather long and narrow with a jagged edge to one side. Frowning she read:

Cruella

I don't

love you.

get out

soon.

Andy

Something was terribly wrong. "Where did you find the note?"

"It was in Andy's book on the bedside table," Cruella explained, wiping ineffectively at the tears that rolled down her cheeks.

"Hmmm. Stay here. I'll be right back." Miranda hurried to their bedroom and found the book in question. Opening it, she fluttered the pages and quickly found what she was looking for. Going back to the study, she aligned Cruella's note with the piece she found in the book and held them out for Cruella to read.

Cruella

I don't know where you went to. I

love you. I'm sorry I got upset. I can't

get out of my mind how hurt you looked. Be home

soon.

Andy

Cruella stared at the note and then looked up at Miranda with shining eyes. "She doesn't want me to leave?"

"No, she doesn't. But she might when she sees the mess you've made of the house," Miranda said, sighing. "It all needs to go back and quickly."

"Oh. Oh!" Cruella leapt up and rushed from the room, her frantic cries for Alonzo echoing through the house.

Miranda collapsed to the couch and dropped her head in her hands. She slowly counted to ten and then did it again, and again. Holding her temper throughout this little escapade of Cruella's had nearly caused her to implode; however was she going to get through another seven months?

James Holt was attempting another hideous showing when Miranda's cell phone began to play the tune to The Twilight Zone. Ignoring the barely concealed smirks of those around her, Miranda retrieved the phone and answered. "Hello, Cruella. What now?"

"Our darling Andy's ankles are swollen! We must take her to the doctor immediately!" Cruella shouted, clearly in a panic.

Rubbing her temples to stave off the headache that was forming, Miranda rose and walked to the back of the studio, away from prying ears. "That's perfectly normal. Andréa has been on her feet too much. She needs to get off them."

"Off them? Right, I'll see to it."

And just that quickly Cruella ended the call. Glad to have found a simple solution, Miranda went back to her seat and indicated that the preview should continue. The next model had barely entered the room when another song was heard. This time the tones of Endless Love broke into James' monologue. Smiling slightly, Miranda answered. "Yes, Andréa?"

"Please tell me you didn't instruct Cruella to have Jasper carry me everywhere I go?"

Miranda sputtered into the phone. "Wh-what? Of course not. I told her you needed to…get…off…your feet." Miranda slowed down as she realized the inference Cruella had taken from her words. "Put our dear companion on the phone please," she growled in an icy tone. After a moment, Cruella's voice was in her ear.

"Our darling Andy is not cooperating in the slightest," Cruella lamented.

Not bothering to move away from the others, Miranda hissed back, "Have you gone totally insane? I meant to have Andréa prop her feet up."

"But you didn't say that. You said to get her off them, and she will be with Jasper carrying her," Cruella defended herself.

"Cruella, send Jasper back to do whatever nefarious little things it is he does and ask Andréa to please prop her feet up. I am in the middle of a ridiculously disgusting preview and have no time for your idiocy."

"You needn't be so harsh!" Cruella snapped, ending the call.

Miranda looked back to James, who had dropped to his knees and was sobbing into his hands. Turning an incredulous gaze on Nigel, she asked, "Whatever is his problem?"

Nigel rolled his eyes and shrugged.

Trying to take a nap on the study couch to catch up on some of the sleep she had lost due to Cruella's continued restless sleep and Andréa's early morning bouts of sickness, Miranda had just managed to doze off when she was pulled awake by frantic whispering.

"I don't care! I want them here, and I want them here now!" Cruella hissed.

Opening her eyes a slit, Miranda watched her lover pacing restlessly while talking into her phone.

"Of course I know what time of year it is!" Cruella stalked to the window and looked out, or she would have if it were not obscured by snow. "My darling Andy wants fresh-picked strawberries. You are a produce supplier, so supply them."

Miranda groaned softly. Trust Andréa to crave the one truly seasonal fruit. With sleep no longer an option, Miranda curled up to see how Cruella would manage to handle her part of their agreement.

"Tomorrow! She isn't craving them tomorrow; she's craving them now! Therefore, you will deliver them now! And none of those hard, little tasteless ones. I want the fat, juicy, sweet ones." Cruella's eyes narrowed as she listened. When she again spoke, her voice gave even Miranda a chill. "Perhaps you don't realize who these are for. This is Cruella DeVil, and the young woman in question is my mate, mine and Miranda Priestly's. She is pregnant with our child and wants strawberries. I don't care about seasons. I care about darling Andy and our child. You have one hour. If I do not see strawberries on my dinner table when I sit down with my family, you won't be concerned with seasons or fruit ever again. Do I make myself clear?" Snapping the phone closed, Cruella stalked to the door and threw it open. "Alonzo!" she roared as she stalked from the room. "Find that fruit man and get those strawberries!"

Pulling the throw closer to her neck, Miranda snuggled in to try for her nap again. Having Cruella be in charge of cravings was the right choice; Miranda had no doubt there would be strawberries at Andréa's place setting by dinner. As she mentally calculated all the places where she could get her hands on ready cash for bail money if the need arose, she dropped off to sleep.

The Twilight Zone theme had only begun to sound when Miranda grabbed her phone. "Yes, Cruella?" she answered as she looked at the pile of work on her desk that wasn't going to get done today.

"Darling, I need a wee bit of a favor," Cruella breathed into her ear.

Arching an eyebrow, Miranda leaned back into her chair. "What type of favor?" she asked suspiciously.

"Might you have a spare 50,000 dollars lying around?"

"Why do you need 50,000 dollars, Cruella?" Miranda inquired, though truthfully she didn't want to know. Some things were better left a mystery.

"There was this small misunderstanding," Cruella began.

Groaning, Miranda pulled open a drawer and began to search for headache tablets. "Go on."

"Our darling Andy was craving the mango chutney from that little place in the Caribbean that we went that time. You know the one. Well, Alonzo and I took my jet to retrieve some and it seems there was some question about the paperwork," Cruella explained.

"Cruella, you can't bring food into the country without an import license," Miranda snapped after swallowing the pills. "You do have one, correct?" The muffled, "Hurry up, Lady" and clanging sound in the background led Miranda to believe Cruella didn't.

"Well, for couture, yes," Cruella said trilling laughter.

"You've been arrested for smuggling," Miranda guessed.

"I have not!" Cruella huffed indignantly.

"Then why do you need the money?" Miranda asked, narrowing her eyes though she knew Cruella couldn't see her. "You're not trying to bribe a customs official, are you?"

"Of course not! Really, Miranda, you have so little faith in me."

"Then why?"

An exasperated sigh came over the phone before Cruella answered. "How was I to know the judge would take such a dim view of me defending myself?"

"A bit more information, please?"

"Very well. The odious man at customs tried to confiscate our darling Andy's chutney. He made a great to do about it being in my purse and tried to seize it. The very idea! That was the latest Marc Jacobs that you gave me for my birthday! Somehow," Cruella stressed the word, "his head contacted with the bag. I don't know what the fuss is all about. He barely has a mark on him. A few stitches and some dental work and he'll be as good as new."

Miranda groaned and dropped her head to the desk. "You really are quite insane," she muttered.

"What's that, Darling? I can't quite hear you? Why ever would you need to take the train? Are you at an out of town shoot today? Should I call Andy?"

"No! No. I'll be there to bail you out soon. Do not call Andréa. She'll only be upset."

"Ta, Love. Do hurry. Your American jails are quite disgustingly dirty."

"It's a jail, Cruella. Not the Ritz. Just stay out of trouble until I get there. Which precinct?"

Scribbling down the information, Miranda ended the call and stalked out of her office. From then until she arrived at the precinct, Miranda spoke not a word other than to snap the destination to Roy. Instead, she counted...and counted…and counted…and counted. If she didn't kill Cruella before the baby was born, it would be a miracle.

Plastering on her most professional non-expression, Miranda paid the bail and waited for Cruella to be brought out. As soon as her lover signed for and received her personal items, she grasped an elbow and marched Cruella out the door. As the car pulled away, Cruella opened her mouth to speak, but Miranda held up her hand. "Not one word. Not even a peep. We will discuss this when we get home and not before."

Looking especially put out, Cruella huffed and glowered out her window.

They were both settled in the study behind a closed door before Miranda spoke again. "You are trying my patience, Cruella. No more. No more threats to produce men. No more trips out of the country to retrieve anything at all that doesn't directly relate to your business concerns. Do you understand me?"

Cruella lifted her chin and looked away, glancing at Miranda from the corner of her eye. "How do you expect me to see to Andy's cravings?"

"Like every other partner of a pregnant woman. Legally!"

"You're being needlessly difficult," Cruella sniffed, playing with the fur that made up the lapels of her coat.

"Cruella, you will have a very hard time holding the baby while wearing a strait jacket," Miranda pointed out.

"I was arrested! Not committed! I do know the difference!" Cruella hissed.

"Really? How could you tell? The lack of padding in your cell?" Miranda's words were punctuated with icicles.

"No, the marked absence of foolish men in white coats wanting to talk about my mother!" Cruella responded, glaring fire.

"You are absolutely insane! I should have left you locked up when I had the chance!" Miranda advanced on her.

Cruella started toward her with a stiff-legged gait. "Then why didn't you? Too difficult a decision for your doddering old mind?"

The conversation deteriorated from there.

They were nose to nose, glaring death at each other when the door suddenly opened and Andréa walked in.

"What's with you two?" she asked, glancing from one to the other suspiciously.

Miranda jerked Cruella to her and kissed her fiercely, nipping harder than normally at her lip. "Behave," she whispered too low for Andréa to hear. Keeping an arm around Cruella's shoulders, she turned to face Andréa. "Hello, Darling. How was your day?" Miranda bit her lip to suppress a yip when she felt a sharp pinch on her right butt cheek.

"It was fine," Andréa continued to move her gaze back and forth between them, frowning slightly. "Have you two been fighting?"

"Of course not, my darling Andy. Why ever would we fight?" Cruella gushed, not quite convincingly.

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe because you got arrested today, my sweet Cruella?" Andréa asked with a smirk.

They stared at her openmouthed, before they both began to deny the accusation.

"Nonsense…" Miranda began.

"Pure gossip…" Cruella offered.

"Hello? Remember me? The reporter girlfriend?" Andréa taunted them. "It came over the police band."

"She has completely lost her mind," Miranda snapped, having finally reached the end of her rope. "She attacked a customs official with her bag. She broke his nose, blacked both eyes, and knocked out his front teeth! She's a menace. It's a miracle she wasn't locked up in the loony bin she belongs in. You have no idea of the types of things she's been doing."

"Me?" Cruella shrieked. "You're the one stomping around and making ridiculous demands! See to Andy's cravings, Cruella! But don't do anything illegal! How am I supposed to get freshly made mango chutney from the Caribbean legally? How, I ask you?"

"Lunatic!" Miranda snarled.

"Anal witch!" Cruella roared back.

"No-talent loony!"

"Rag hag!"

They both turned in surprise when Andréa laughed loudly. "Thank heaven! You're back to normal! You have no idea how stressful it's been with you two tippy-toeing around each other."

"We thought the arguing would cause unnecessary stress," Miranda said in confusion.

"You said so," Cruella backed her lover up. "It was part of the deal we made."

"And that's what I thought I wanted," Andréa admitted. "Until I realized life just isn't normal if the two of you aren't at each other's throats fifty times a day. You're not meant to be nice to each other. Nice to me, yes, but not each other. It's unnatural."

"You really mean this," Miranda said in surprise.

"Of course, I do," Andréa laughed. "So starting right now we go back to the way we were. Deal?"

Miranda and Cruella looked at each other for a moment and then reached out and pulled Andréa to them, mindful of the ever growing baby bump that kept them from getting as close as they were used to.

"You'll sleep in the middle again?" Cruella asked hopefully.

Andréa nodded. "I haven't had morning sickness in over a week, so, yes, back in the middle for me. At least until it gets too hard to get in and out of bed from there."

"I still handle the cravings," Cruella insisted.

"It might be better to let Miranda do that now that I don't need her on sick detail," Andréa responded.

Seeing Cruella's face fall, Miranda thought quickly. "Foot massages!" she barked out. "Every pregnant woman needs foot massages…and back massages!"

"They do?" Cruella asked, studying Miranda's face suspiciously.

"Oh, those are a must," Andréa agreed. "And I'd be so grateful, Cruella."

"You would?" Cruella's eyes began to gleam.

"Totally," Andréa assured, pressing her lips to Cruella's.

"We could start now," Cruella enthused, beginning to lead Andréa from the room. "I know of some wonderful massage oils they only have in Paris…"

Miranda leaned back against her desk and sighed. However did Andréa manage to always defuse Cruella's lunacy with just a few words and a soft kiss? Then it dawned on her what Cruella had just said.

"Cruella! You raving lunatic!" Miranda roared as she ran after them, once again furious with her lover. _Damn, but it felt good_ , Miranda thought fleetingly as she tore out of the room.

Andréa's laugh rang through the house. Their family was back to normal, or what passed for it.


	4. Friendly Fire

"What is that?" Cruella asked, staring at the blurry white image.

"It's our baby," Miranda explained patiently. "Andréa had her last ultrasound today."

Cruella turned the rectangle of paper this way and that before looking up at Miranda with a concerned gaze. "Our child is an alien!" she gasped.

"She is not!" Miranda snapped. "She's a perfectly normal baby. The doctor found nothing wrong with her."

"But look at this!" Cruella shoved the paper into Miranda's hands. "It doesn't look human. E.T. had a smaller head!"

Narrowing her eyes, Miranda glared at her lover. "The baby looks exactly as she is supposed to at this stage of her development. You are not to say such things to Andréa."

"The baby will get better, right?" Cruella asked desperately. "She won't look like this forever, will she?"

Sighing, Miranda rubbed her temples. She was trying to be understanding of Cruella's concerns when what she really wanted to do was shove the image down her throat. Balancing the conflicting desires was, yet again, causing a massive headache. "She will be perfect, Cruella. And even if she were not, she is our child. We will love and care for her regardless. Just as we do you," she finished waspishly, unable to resist getting in at least one dig.

Cruella huffed and crossed her arms. "My head is perfectly normal."

"On the outside, yes, but appearances can be terribly deceiving," Miranda replied off-handedly.

Smirking cruelly, Cruella nodded. "Except in your case," she shot back. "You're exactly as old as your hair color implies."

"While yours is indicative of the existence of at least two of your varied personalities," Miranda snarled, stalking toward where Cruella sat on one end of the couch.

"I have told you repeatedly that I am not schizophrenic, nor do I have multiple personality disorder! I have a—"

"Mild dissociative disorder," Miranda finished for her with a sneer. "Believe me when I tell you it is not so mild."

"You ruddy bitch!" Cruella leapt to her feet, clenching her hands into fists.

"Better a bitch than a raving lunatic!" Miranda balled her own hands into fists and glared up at Cruella.

"Better a raving lunatic than a frigid bloody ball-buster!"

"Frigid!" Miranda roared, fueled by anger and her pounding head. "If you weren't so completely inept as a lover, I'd have no reason to be frigid!"

"If you were the least bit sexy, I wouldn't find being your lover such a hideous challenge!" Cruella shrieked.

"Then far be it from me to force you to challenge your oh so pathetic imagination in such a manner again!" Miranda roared. More furious than she could ever remember being, Miranda strode out of the room. Barely pausing to grab her bag and coat, she stormed out of the house and shoving on her sunglasses, got in to her waiting car without a word to Roy. She didn't speak throughout the ride to _Runway._

She mentally berated herself both for losing her temper to that extreme and for not waiting for Andréa to be present to share the ultrasound image with Cruella. They had intentionally not shown their excitable lover the first image, but Miranda had thought the fetus sufficiently developed not to frighten or confuse Cruella this time. She had been spectacularly wrong.

Tears shimmered in eyes hidden by dark glasses. Miranda had heard each of her ex-husbands accuse of her of being frigid. To have Cruella do so – Cruella, who more than anyone, other than Andréa, should know how untrue the accusation was – to have her do so had been a searing shaft into Miranda's heart. If that was truly how Cruella felt, then Miranda didn't know how she would ever find happiness again. She had given everything to the two women she loved, opened herself in ways that she never had with anyone before. Once again, she had failed to maintain a relationship.

Emily met her as she exited the elevator. Miranda strode down the corridor, giving her usual rapid fire list of instructions. Tossing her coat and bag on the second assistant's desk, she continued with the list. It was only after taking her seat behind her desk that she finished with, "Book me a suite at the Ritz for tonight. Make it an open-ended reservation. That's all!" Miranda didn't bother to look up. The dead silence and lack of movement from Emily was a clear indicator of her surprise, though it only lasted a moment before Emily squeaked and hurried from the room.

The twins were on vacation with their father for the next week during a break from school, so Miranda was saved from explaining her actions to them until after she'd had time to make her plans. She would need to contact her attorney tomorrow to arrange some form of custody agreement and visitation schedule for the new baby once it was born. That is unless Andréa should choose to live with her instead of Cruella. Miranda doubted however that Cruella found their beautiful lover to be frigid in any way. If anything Andréa's hormone-driven libido would crush just one of them. Of late, Miranda and Cruella had taken to trading off just to keep up and get adequate rest. _Andréa. How do I explain this to her?_ There was no way Miranda could bring herself to admit to such a humiliating truth, nor could she face Andréa and lie. Opening her email, Miranda opted for the only course of action she felt was left open to her.

"What the fuck?" Andy gasped, reading over the message from Miranda again. _Oh, she is so not getting away with this! What the hell does she mean "the relationship has run its course"? Cruella, what have you done?_ Gathering up her things, Andy hurried from the newsroom, texting her driver as she went. This was one of the few times she was glad her lovers had insisted on her having ready transportation. She took deep breaths and tried to calm down knowing that being so upset wasn't good for the baby. Andy knew that, after dropping her at the interview she had scheduled, Miranda had intended to share the ultrasound image with Cruella. Sufficient time had passed for that to have happened, so whatever was causing Miranda to pull out of their relationship must have something to do with Cruella. She knew they both had been extremely stressed over work issues lately. Though one or the other seemed always to be there and ready whenever Andy gave the smallest hint that she was aroused, she couldn't recall the last time they'd all been together or that Miranda and Cruella had taken time for themselves. Andy groaned, realizing she should have noticed and taken steps to correct the situation. Those two were too volatile together to not have the more intimate interactions to balance out their clashes.

Alonzo was there to meet the car and helped Andy out. Her baby bump was more of a boulder at this point, so the assistance was appreciated.

His face was a study in concern as he greeted her. "Oh, Miss Andy, I'm so glad you're here. Miss DeVil is quite upset, and Ms. Priestly left here very angry. I just know something terrible has happened."

Andy patted his hand consolingly. "Yes, it has, but I'll get it straightened out. Send my driver home and get the Rolls out. Once I've got Cruella calmed down, she and I will have some damage control to take care of in the city."

The sound of violent sobbing intermixed with short rants and breaking glass led Andy to Cruella's location. She stood in the doorway and watched as Cruella paced the room, stopping now and then to scream invectives at her reflection in various shiny surfaces, before throwing the nearest object to shatter the glass or mirror. Though mostly incoherent mumbles, Andy was able to pick up enough to know that Cruella was blaming herself for whatever had happened. Deciding it was time to put an end to the destructive rant, Andy stepped further into the room.

"Cruella, baby, what's going on?" Andy asked gently.

"Oh, Andy!" Cruella sobbed. "I'm evil! You should have me locked away! Miranda's right! I'm insane!" She dropped to her knees and crossed her arms over her stomach. "Oh, my poor, poor Miranda! What have I done?"

Andy struggled to kneel next to her and took Cruella into her arms. "What happened, Cruella? Can you tell me?"

"I called her f-f-frigid!" Cruella wailed.

"What?" Andy gasped. "Cruella, you know that's not true."

"I knoooow," she sobbed. "We were having one of our usual discussions, and it just went too far. I've missed her so, and it just slipped out before I realized. Oh, Andy, you should have seen her face. She was devastated!" She dissolved into hysterical wailing.

Andy sighed and stroked the silky, bi-colored hair. "That explains a lot. Sweetie, I need you to get control of yourself. We need to fix this."

Cruella looked up, her expression eager, though soggy. "Do you think we can?" she asked hesitantly. "I could apologize when she gets home. Beg her to forgive me."

Andy smiled sadly. "She's not coming home, Cruella. She's taken a suite at the Ritz."

"Are you—are you going with her?" Cruella asked fearfully.

"No, Sweetie, I'm not leaving you and neither is Miranda," Andy stated firmly. "We're going to bring her home. So you go change and fix your makeup. Alonzo has the car waiting."

"Oh, yes! Of course!" Cruella scrambled up and started for the door. "I'll be right back."

"Ummm, Cruella?" Andy called after her.

Cruella paused and turned back. "Yes?"

Andy looked up at her from where she still knelt on the floor, a wry grin twisting her lips. "A hand up here?"

"Oh!" Cruella hurried back and helped Andy to her feet. "Back in a bit!"

Andy smirked at the rapid staccato of heels hurrying up the staircase. How those two could move so fast on those stilts she'd never know. Collecting her phone, she sent a quick text to Jasper to get the mess that was their study cleaned up while they were gone. Thankfully, Cruella had left the antiques and the more sentimental items intact during her rampage. Andy just hoped it would be as easy to smooth over the damage to Miranda's feelings, though she seriously doubted it would be.

Getting past the reception desk at the Ritz had taken a bit of ingenuity. Well, really, Andy had just unleashed Cruella on the poor man after implying to her lover that he was all that stood between them and Miranda. In truth, Andy couldn't really say that she'd actually unleashed her lover entirely. She'd merely introduced Cruella by name and informed her of his lack of cooperation. The fiendish glare Cruella had focused on the man had done the rest. The poor guy had even offered to have a bellboy carry Andy to the suite when Cruella had growled he was keeping her pregnant lover standing and waiting needlessly. Andy had quickly declined when Cruella had looked as if she'd take him up on the offer.

Now here they were knocking on the door of Miranda's suite. Truthfully, Andy was attempting to knock when Cruella had quickly taken over, pounding violently at the wood.

"Miranda! Open this door immediately!" Cruella shouted.

"Sweetie, you need to calm down," Andy cautioned. "We don't want to be thrown out before we see her."

"How can we see her if she won't open the door?" Cruella continued to beat on the door. "Open this door this instant!" When Miranda did not do as she requested, Cruella narrowed her eyes and smiled slyly. "Miranda, hurry! Our Darling Andy is about to collapse!"

"Cruella!" Andy hissed, ready to tear into her lover for lying. She rethought that inclination when the door flew open and a concerned Miranda appeared in the opening.

"Your sanity is once again in question, Cruella," Miranda snapped. "You cannot keep a woman in the advanced stages of pregnancy standing around indefinitely."

"And you're blaming me when you didn't put that on the checklist you made for me?"

"I didn't think I had to," Miranda shot back, taking Andy by the arm and leading her gently to the large sofa in the seating area of the suite. "It's common sense."

Andy sank back into the soft cushions, glad to be off her feet, though she had no intention of throwing the fuel of that knowledge on the conflagration the two were engaged in. Unfortunately, they might have to call a crane company to get her back out of the deep seat, but for now it felt heavenly.

"As you take great joy in pointing out that, that's an area in which I am sorely lacking, why would you suddenly assume I had developed the trait in the past eight and half months?" Cruella sniffed and made her way to sit beside their lover.

Miranda pursed her lips, clearly without a ready response for that particular nugget of logic.

Andy patted the cushion on her other side. "Miranda, come sit with me, please?" When her silver-haired lover showed no inclination to do so, Andy sighed. "I can't exactly hop up and go to you, Miranda. Just like it's not good to keep a pregnant woman standing, it's also not good to make her try to climb out of this ridiculously cushy sofa. Please, come sit." Andy held out her hand and waited.

Huffing, Miranda perched on the edge of the cushion. "I don't know why you're here. Cruella made herself quite clear when we spoke earlier." She kept her eyes fixed in the opposite direction.

Andy stroked the backs of her fingers over a silky cheek. "The two of you don't speak, you bicker, and you know she didn't mean what she said. Neither of you ever do."

"I don't know why you suddenly chose to listen to me, anyway," Cruella added. "You never have before."

Pressing her lips tighter, Miranda clearly could not refute that statement either.

Andy took Miranda's hand between her own. "I know why it hurt, Miranda. Just like you know that, that is one word neither of us could ever apply to you. You're wonderfully passionate and loving."

"What I said was unforgivable," Cruella admitted. "But I'm truly hoping that you'll overlook that and forgive me anyway. You're correct that I am in all probability insane."

"It's merely a mild dissociative disorder," Miranda murmured, though still looking away from her lovers.

Cruella rose and moved to kneel in front of Miranda, taking her free hand and pressing a kiss to the knuckles. "For years, you haunted my dreams. You were my one unattainable desire. Just catching a glimpse of you during a showing would leave me aching for days, Miranda. There was and is a fire between us that would have consumed us both without our darling Andy to balance us. If anyone has thought you frigid, it's because they themselves lack the ability to see and ignite your passions. The lack is not yours."

Andy's eyes welled with tears. She'd never heard Cruella be so eloquent toward Miranda. They were usually much too busy sniping at each other for grand declarations, but their witticisms, though barbed, were their way of showing their feelings for each other. What they could say to each other with impunity would have hurt them each drastically if voiced by Andy.

Miranda drew a shaky breath, her eyelids blinking rapidly. "You hurt me."

"I know, my Darling, and I am so dreadfully sorry. Please, please, forgive me." Cruella rested her head in Miranda's lap, her shoulders shaking lightly as she cried.

Miranda freed her hand from Cruella's and Andy held her breath, afraid that the action signaled her rejection of their lover. She released the breath slowly as Miranda threaded her fingers in the bi-colored locks and leaned over pressing her lips to the head in her lap.

"I love you, Cruella. If I didn't you could not hurt me so terribly," Miranda explained. "I forgive you."

Cruella surged up, claiming Miranda's lips in a kiss of fire and passion.

Andy watched them for a moment before finally speaking. "Why don't you two take this into the bedroom. I think you need some time alone."

They broke the kiss and looked at her, back at each other and then at Andy again.

"What about you?" Cruella asked hesitantly.

"Are you kidding?" Andy laughed. "We're at the Ritz. I'm going to drop your names and have some of Laurent Tourondel's Warm English Custard sent up. That stuff is to die for." Andy licked her lips in anticipation. She laughed as their eyes followed the movement of her tongue. "Go!" Andy fell over in hilarity as the two practically ran from the room. For a moment she thought Cruella would try to vault the sofa. Gaining control of herself, she looked across the room at the phone before, with a sigh, she pulled out her cell and placed a call to the hotel she was sitting in. Hopefully, room service would use their passkey. No way was she getting up off that sofa without help.

Miranda was just preparing to verbally tear several strips off her staff for the abysmal run-through she'd been subjected to when the sound of her own name being shrieked down the corridors of _Runway_ caused the hair to stand on the back of her neck and the words to die on the tip of her tongue. She barely had time to register the looks of shock and fear written on the faces around her before Cruella stood in the doorway, shoulders heaving as she panted heavily.

"Our darling Andy is in labor!" Cruella gasped.

Putting aside the schism of fear that shimmered down her spine, Miranda arched a brow at Emily who nodded and rushed from the room to call Roy. Turning her full attention back to Cruella, whose diamond-clawed gloves were gouging holes in each side of the door frame, Miranda gathered herself. She and Andréa had discussed this at length, and it was her responsibility not only to coach her pregnant lover through the delivery but to keep the more volatile Cruella from creating mayhem in the hospital at large. With that in mind, they had instructed Cruella to fetch Miranda while the fierce woman's "minions," as Andréa laughingly referred to Horace, Jasper and Alonzo, saw to getting Andréa to the hospital when the big day arrived. Once again Miranda was cognizant of just how foresighted that plan was as the sound of wood splintering filled the silence Cruella's pronouncement had created. Snapping herself into action, Miranda stepped carefully toward her overly excited lover.

"Cruella, please be kind enough to leave the structure of my office intact," she said crisply, knowing Cruella would respond to her instinctively whereas gentle words from Miranda would only fuel the fire that burned in blazing blue eyes. "Get my coat and bag from Emily and do _not_ poke holes in them with those ridiculous talons of yours."

"When have I ever _accidentally_ shredded anything?" Cruella snapped back right on cue. "Really, Miranda, you give me very little credit. I am quite capable of controlling my glove tips."

"Tell that to the new Chanel skirt you shredded," Miranda responded, intent on keeping Cruella too involved with the conversation to continue panicking.

"That was entirely different and not at all an accident. I had already told you I intended to have you and if you had wanted to keep your apparel intact you should have removed it immediately. It isn't my fault you decided to play coy. If your moans were any indicator, you were not overly concerned with my shredding the skirt at the time. _And_ , I might add, Darling Andy found it extremely arousing as well."

The slight pinking of Miranda's cheekbones was the only indication she gave of being aware that her sex life, in all its explosive glory, was being shared with her staff. She would simply have to deal with that embarrassing reality later.

"Andréa was not as pleased when you destroyed her new peignoir," Miranda countered. If her dignity was going to be dented she might as well make it a large one. Besides which, talking about their sex life always deflected Cruella from more upsetting topics. Her staff could have the fear of the Dragon put back into them later, though a bit of rumor about her ability to satisfy a far younger lover as well as a fashion demon with an overcharged libido might not hurt her reputation at all. Her lips curled in the hint of a smile, as she knew what Cruella's response would be.

"Then you should not have torn it from her body after I made that tiny rip in the neckline," Cruella huffed.

Ignoring the gasps from her quickly vacating employees, Miranda took the coat and bag Emily held for her and, grasping Cruella's hand, mindful of the lethal diamond tips, pulled her along toward the elevator.

"Must you always spread the more salacious aspects of our union out for general consumption, Cruella? It's enough that the world knows I'm in a relationship with two women. Must they also be made aware of our bedroom activities in detail?" Stepping into the elevator, Miranda swung her coat over her shoulders before reaching out and punching the button for the lobby.

"Yes!" Cruella snapped decisively. "Let them all know and envy what I have, the two most beautiful, erotic, and arousing women in the world. There isn't a person alive who can satisfy even one of you, but I have you both!"

Smirking slightly, Miranda patted the arm nearest her. "Darling, a bit of megalomania goes a long way, but you are correct. You do have us both, as we have you and each other. I am sure the world at large is hideously jealous of that fact." She slipped on her sunglasses to hide the merriment in her eyes. Cruella really was too easy at times. From the corner of her eye, she could see Cruella preening with the knowledge that she was envied above all others. Sanity really was just a casual acquaintance for Cruella. She was almost entirely self-involved, seeing the world and inhabitants only in light of their usefulness to her at any given moment.

The exception to that was Miranda herself, along with Andréa and their children, and to a smaller extent her beloved "minions." Her obsessive love for those Cruella considered to be her family was the sanest part of her, and perhaps all that kept her from slipping irreparably over the edge. Miranda was fully cognizant of that fact. In truth, it was what had kept her from claiming Cruella for her own for all those years. She could never be all that Cruella needed and would not be the cause of her fiery lover losing any final grip on reality. No, it required Andréa's calm, gentle nature and enormous capacity to love to soothe Cruella's voracious need for affection and approval. From Miranda she received a strength of will equal to her own, a bulwark against which to batter herself when self-control became more than she could manage.

Miranda felt warmth suffuse her chest at their image reflected back in the glass doors of the Elias-Clarke lobby. Cruella had also donned her shades, and they strode like queens through their kingdom. She knew this was how their Andréa saw them. Strong, powerful, yet elegant and achingly feminine. Miranda knew that she and Cruella struck awe and fear into the hearts of those who saw them together. It was Andréa who gave them their humanity, Andréa and their children. She drew a shaky breath, her mind just for a moment touching on the danger their love could potentially be in. While women gave birth daily, there was always the possibility for the worst to happen. Miranda glanced at Cruella in surprise as a soft, suede glove wrapped around her hand.

"Our Darling Andy will be fine," Cruella assured her in a murmur meant only for Miranda's ears. "The doctor's life depends on it, a fact she well knows."

Miranda barked a laugh at the cruel lines of Cruella's face in that moment, but somehow, she felt better all the same.

"She's in pain!" Cruella shrieked. "You will fix it this instant!"

Glancing to where Cruella had backed a terrified nurse into the corner, Miranda continued to encourage Andréa to breathe, mimicking the small pants of her lover. "That's right, my Love. Breathe through it. You're doing wonderfully."

"Don't let…Cruella…kill…anyone," Andréa gasped between short, staccato breaths.

"No, Darling, I won't. I confiscated her gloves before we left the car. She's merely keeping herself amused," Miranda assured, as she dabbed gently at Andréa's brow with a cool cloth. "She knows I'd have to stop assisting you to help hide the body were she to actually do so. Cruella, Dear, could you moisten this for me?" Miranda held out the cloth she'd been using which was promptly snatched from her hand as Cruella hurried into the bathroom to soak the small towel in cool water and wrung it out viciously.

"You did not tell me our Darling Andy would be in such pain!" Cruella chastised Miranda, as she gave the cloth back. "I would not have agreed to this had you done so."

"I'm fine, Cruella," Andréa assured her, as the contraction eased to where she could speak without sounding like she was gasping out her last words.

"But there are drugs! It's a hospital for god's sake. It's full of drugs!" Cruella looked around the room wildly as if she expected bottles of pills to be piled in every corner.

Andréa chuckled, shaking her sweat drenched head against the pillow. "I opted for natural child birth. All those chemicals can't be good for the baby. Yes, it hurts, but I don't want to miss a moment of this."

"I can't stand for you to be in pain." Cruella stood at the end of the bed, wringing her hands as tears slowly made their way down pale cheeks.

"This is Andréa's choice. It's her body and we have to respect that," Miranda snapped. "If you're not able to deal with this, then leave. Otherwise, woman up and be supportive which does not include frightening the medical staff to the point I have to deliver our baby myself." Miranda's infinite patience with Andréa did not extend to Cruella at the moment. As much as she loved her and wanted her to be part of this wonderful event, she'd much rather Cruella be out terrorizing the others in the waiting room rather than distressing Andréa at the moment.

Cruella visibly shook herself and lifted her chin haughtily. "I am equally as much woman as you are, Miranda. Now give me that cloth."

As another contraction hit, Miranda looked down to hide her smirk as Cruella gamely allowed her hand to be crushed while she valiantly mopped a sweaty brow. Wincing as her own hand was squeezed violently, Miranda couldn't help admiring the way Cruella had pulled herself together. She only hoped it would last throughout the rest of the delivery.

Miranda leaned back in the chair, their new baby daughter held snuggly in her arms. She looked to her right where an exhausted Andréa lay sleeping. She was so proud of her beautiful darling for giving her this exquisite gift. Turning her head to the left, Miranda smiled softly at Cruella who lay asleep in the adjoining bed, a white bandage on one side of her forehead.

They had made it safely into the delivery room and all was going well. The doctor had commented that the head was crowning and asked Andréa to bear down and push. Before Miranda could stop her, Cruella had rushed to the end of the table to glare down at the woman, as if daring her to drop their child. The sight of a small head squeezing out of Andréa's body had proven too much. The Demon of Fashion had hit the floor, not only fainting but managing to strike her head on the way down. Miranda had found herself momentarily torn, as Andréa cried out from a strong contraction while Cruella was carted out the door on her way to the ER and x-rays. Knowing she couldn't be in both places, Miranda had sent a silent prayer that Cruella's hard head would keep her in good stead, while she focused on Andréa.

Miranda had been unable to quash a niggling worry until word had come that Cruella was fine, only requiring two stitches to close the small gash above her eyebrow which would be seen to by the head of cosmetic surgery as soon as someone could catch Cruella, who had been tearing through the hospital reportedly sliding around corners in her blue paper booties. Sighing with relief at knowing their irascible lover was fighting her way back to the delivery room, Miranda had not been surprised when Cruella had burst through the door, arriving just in time to wrap her hand around Miranda's as they both had cut the cord. Miranda had smiled lovingly at the crazed woman with the streaks of blood drying in her hair and on her cheek. With Cruella's long arms wrapped around her, Miranda had watched Andréa's face suffuse with love as their child was laid upon her stomach, Cruella sniffling loudly in her ear, the big softie.

It had taken a bit of doing, not to mention several phone calls, but Miranda had managed to keep Cruella from being locked in the psych ward and instead conveyed to this joint room after her wound had been stitched. She had her two lovers sleeping nearby and their new baby in her arms. What more could she want?

"Isn't that right, Mirella?" Miranda cooed at the sleeping infant. "Though why your mommy felt it wise to name you after the two biggest bitches on the planet I shall never know."

"Miranda, language," Andréa murmured sleepily. "I named her after her other mommies who just happen to be the two women who would give their lives to insure her safety and happiness. I can't think of a better name."

"It could be worse," Cruella growled. "She could have chosen Cruanda. Now do be quiet. You'll wake the baby, and I have a frightful headache."

Chuckling softly to herself, Miranda rested her head against the back of the chair and listened as soft snores emanated from both beds. She truly loved her life, even with its resulting fireworks. It just made it all the more interesting somehow.


	5. Skermishes

Cruella cradled the tiny blanket-wrapped bundle to her shoulder awkwardly.

"Now, lightly pat Mirella on her back," Miranda instructed patiently.

Following Miranda's direction, Cruella barely touched the tips of her fingers to the infant's back as if afraid to break her with a firmer touch. However, the gesture seemed sufficient as a loud burp sounded through the room.

With a grimace, Cruella lifted the baby from her shoulder and tried to see the spit-up spreading rapidly over the shoulder of her silk jacket.

"You did that on purpose," she declared, eyeing Miranda malevolently.

Rolling her eyes, Miranda reached for their daughter and proceeded to rock her soothingly in sheltering arms.

"Cruella, babies must be burped after feeding and they quite often spit up milk as part the experience. I told you to put the pad over your shoulder. I cannot be blamed if you refused to do so."

"You didn't tell me why," Cruella huffed. "And it simply clashes with my ensemble."

"Only you two would be burping a baby while wearing silk," Andréa remarked from her spot on the bed. She was supposed to be napping, but couldn't resist watching Miranda's first attempt to teach Cruella the finer points of infant feeding.

"With the proper precautions one can feed a child wearing Valentino," Miranda replied with a sniff. "I've done so many times with the twins when they were small."

"Someone obviously gave you a _proper_ warning about the pad," Cruella sniped.

"Careful, my dear, or you'll be on soiled nappy duty for the rest of this week," Miranda warned with a baleful glare.

"I've been meaning to discuss that with you," Cruella shot back. "Such a small person should not be able to make such an offensive odor. There is clearly something wrong with either Mirella or the disgusting swill the two of you insist on feeding her."

Narrowing her eyes, Miranda growled. "You might wish to reconsider your phrasing. Our Andréa produces the so-called swill you're referring to."

"Something else you didn't warn me about sufficiently," Cruella snarled. "I almost drowned!"

"Did you expect the milk switch to flip to off because you became amorous?" Miranda sneered. "Common sense should have told you otherwise."

"Again with that old argument!" Cruella threw her arms up in frustration. "Must I remind you that we clearly agreed months ago that, that is a trait I do not possess! You had agreed to compensate for the lack."

"We agreed you were challenged in that area, not that you were entirely absent of the characteristic. Really, Cruella, I've seen you get out of the rain," Miranda replied disdainfully.

"Whatever does that have to do with being drowned during foreplay?" Cruella stared at Miranda as if she were the one lacking in common sense.

Miranda opened her mouth to reply only to snap it shut again and shake her head. Sometimes it was better to simply admit defeat, though it was a difficult knowledge to accept. Defeat had never been in her vocabulary until Cruella came along. She ignored Andréa's continual giggling and moved to lay Mirella in her bassinet having gotten the infant to sleep. As always, Miranda was amazed that their daughter slept so easily amidst the noise of her mother's arguments. After tucking Mirella in gently, Miranda turned back to her more frustrating lover.

"Darling, I will try to be more exact in my explanations in the future," she conceded with a sigh, though how to do so remained a mystery.

The rapid tones of the Twilight Zone theme song had barely begun to issue from her cell phone before Miranda had it to her ear.

"Yes, Cruella? What's wrong now?" she asked, having decided to get to the heart of the matter right away. It seemed every time her excitable lover called it concerned some issue of the direst importance, if only to Cruella.

"Our child has a foot fetish!" came the hysterical exclamation in her ear.

Miranda rolled her eyes and released a slow, even breath. She had far too much work to do to feed Cruella's mania. "And what makes you say that, Darling?"

"Mirella insists upon chewing her toes. She simply cannot go through life with her foot hanging out of her mouth."

Removing her glasses, Miranda pinched the bridge of her nose to stave off the headache these conversations invariably generated. "Babies experience the world through their sense of taste to begin with. Hunger is, after all, her driving need, Cruella. We've spoken about this before. Mirella will put anything she grasps into her mouth for many months to come. It's nothing to be concerned about as long as the object is clean and too large for her to swallow or endanger herself with. Now I really must get back to work."

"But, Miranda—"

Knowing of only one way to deflect the conversation, Miranda interrupted sharply. "You have spent the majority of your life having stuck one or the other of your feet in your mouth regularly. I don't see where it has harmed anything other than your reputation for sanity."

"Cow," Cruella bit back succinctly.

"Lunatic," Miranda responded in kind.

"You two are going to wake the baby." Miranda heard Andréa's voice in the background on Cruella's end.

"Rag hag" was Cruella's typical response before hanging up abruptly.

Setting aside her phone, Miranda slipped her glasses back on and returned to scanning the photos spread over her desk.

"Cruella's adjusting to the new baby, I see," Nigel offered in an amused tone.

"Yes, well, infantile behavior is one of her specialties," Miranda murmured before drawing a large X over one of the images and tossing it aside.

"A teddy bear, Cruella, a simple, soft, small teddy bear. That is what I asked you to bring home," Miranda chastised as she flung yet another faux fur creature toward the pile on the sofa. "Not the largest stuffed animal known to exist. Not the entire stuffy section of the FAO Schwartz, but a single small teddy bear."

Several of the stuffed animals tumbled to the carpeting as Cruella created room to poke her head out. "You said Mirella should have a stuffy," Cruella defended herself.

"A, singular, one, not every one in the tri-state area!" Miranda corrected again continuing to toss the animals at her as she attempted to reach her desk in their shared study. She could not believe that Cruella could mess up such a simple request, but then again, she could. "The entire house is brimming with these."

"I couldn't decide! They're all so adorable and I just knew Mirella would love them."

"Mirella is three months old. Of course, she'll love them." Miranda agreed while trying to uncover her desktop by tossing the animals over her shoulders with both hands. "She will not, however, be able to play with this many in several lifetimes. I realize that constraint is not one of your natural qualities, but really some common sense is necessary."

"We've had that discussion before," Cruella responded, her voice muffled beneath the rapidly growing mound of toys that buried her.

"I insist that you remove these from our home immediately, if not sooner. Call your minions and have them gone before Andréa returns from the park with our children. Return them. Give them to charity, hospitals, whatever. I don't care. But they must be out of this house within the hour," Miranda directed through clenched teeth. She was fighting hard to hold her temper in check. As irritating as Cruella could be, she was only trying to make Mirella happy and Miranda couldn't quite bring herself to fault her for that desire. "You may keep one, singular, one and only one." She turned just as arm thrust up from the enormous pile on the sofa with a black spotted white stuffed dog clutched in its hand. "Not that one."

The sound of a choked off guffaw drew Miranda's attention to the doorway where Andy stood staring wide eyed at the pile of toys. Andy held up her hand as Miranda opened her mouth to explain.

"No, I don't want to know. Miranda, I'm trusting you to handle this. I'm assuming Cruella is at the end of that arm. I just wanted you to know we're back and Mirella is down for her nap. You two need to hold it down before you wake her up." She started to turn away and then turned back to look at pile of stuffies with the arm frantically shaking the black and white dog. "And, Cruella baby, Miranda's right. Not that one." She stifled a giggle at the muffled whimper from the pile. "Carry on."

Miranda looked up from the deluge of sketches that had suddenly flooded her desk obscuring The Book from her view. "Yes, Cruella? You wanted something?" she asked beginning to brush the pages aside to return to the layout she was shredding minutely.

"Baby clothes!" Cruella crowed, clasping her hands together beside her cheek. "Wonderful, beautiful baby clothes!"

Sighing quietly, Miranda shifted the sketches from atop the baby monitor she had lying next to the book and pulled the top most sketch to her and gazed at it a moment in silence. "While a lovely design, do you really think Mirella is in need of a formal evening gown at this stage in her development?" Drawing another one close with a slender finger, she perused it before gazing over the top of her glasses at Cruella. "Tennis wear?"

"Oh, yes!" Cruella nodded enthusiastically. "Our darling must be suitably attired for all occasions."

Removing her glasses, Miranda folded the arms deliberately and set them before her on the desk. Reminding herself that while not the sanest of approaches, designing baby clothes, like purchasing stuffies, was not in and of itself either illegal or a sure sign of insanity, Miranda cleared her throat gently. "Perhaps it would be best if we waited a bit on the more energetic and party oriented of these and concentrated more on items Mirella can actually use at this time. After all, her immediate wardrobe needs tend more towards onesies and nappies."

"They're so dreadfully boring!" Cruella screeched.

"They are comfortable and restful, both of which our child needs." Try as she might, Miranda could feel her grip on her temper slipping. "What she doesn't need is to be dressed like a catwalk model before she's even old enough to know what she's wearing. The next thing I know you'll be lining her up for some idiotic infant beauty pageant so she can show off your newest designs!" Miranda snapped.

Cruella froze, her eyes taking on a mad gleam. "They have beauty pageants for babies?"

"No! Do you hear me? No! You will get that idea right out of that twisted excuse you have of a brain." Miranda warned her.

"But there's no baby more beautiful than ours."

"No. Not happening. You will not do that to our Mirella. The mere idea is absurd." What Miranda hated most was she'd given Cruella the idea herself. When would she learn to watch what she said closer when it came to Cruella? She used the one argument she knew would head Cruella off. "Andréa would leave us both and take Mirella with her before she'd let that happen."

True to form, Cruella deflated and lost the maniacal gleam. "She'd really leave us?"

"In a second," Miranda declared emphatically.

"And take Mirella?"

"Undoubtedly."

Cruella sighed and began to gather up her sketches. "I'll rework these for when she's older."

"That's a very good idea," Miranda agreed, helping to shift the drawings into some semblance of order.

"So maybe when she's two?" Cruella murmured to herself as she headed out the door.

Miranda's eyes widened before she rushed to her feet and hurried after her. "Cruella DeVil, you stop right there!"

Neither heard Andy's voice drifting from the monitor, "You two are going to wake the baby."

Miranda rubbed the bridge of her nose tiredly. Cruella was in London finalizing the last details of her Spring showing and no one had, had much sleep around the mansion since she'd left. Mirella simply refused to go to sleep. She cried for hours and no amount of walking, bouncing, patting, lullabying, or cajoling would convince their little one to close her eyes. Even once she'd cried herself to sleep, Mirella's rest was fitful. Though she missed Cruella herself, Miranda could not believe that her absence was having such a profound effect on their baby. Thankfully, Alphonso had met Cruella's plane and they should be arriving home at any moment.

As if her thoughts had been prophetic, Miranda heard the front door crash to the wall as it was thrown open.

"My darlings! I'm home!" Cruella's voice rang through the mansion.

Miranda would never understand how one woman could propel her voice through several layers of floor and ceiling with so little effort. She hurried from their shared study, baby monitor in hand, and down the stairs to head her off. Mirella had only just dropped off and Andréa was taking the opportunity for some much needed rest of her own.

"Cruella!" She hissed from the top of the stairs. "You'll wake everyone up!"

"But, of course, darling. I'm home. Everyone should be up to greet me!" Cruella stared at her as if she thought Miranda was the one who was slightly less than sane.

Hearing Mirella begin to fuss over the monitor, Miranda rushed down the stairs. "Will you please be quiet? You're going to wake Mirella, not to mention Andréa."

"Its 2:00 in the afternoon, Miranda. I've only just come home. My family should be here to greet me, not shout at me," Cruella huffed before a look of concern entered her eyes. "Are my lovely Mir and my darling Andy ill? Should I get a doctor? Why haven't you called one already?"

"Shhh!" Miranda hissed, hearing whimpers from the monitor. "No one is ill. Nor has anyone has a decent night's sleep since you left."

"Why ever not?" Cruella asked incredulously. "Have you not been taking care of our darlings?"

"Of course, I have."

"Really, Miranda, I'm gone for just a few days and you let everything fall apart? Can I not trust you to care for our family without my having to be here?"

Miranda felt like the universe had shifted when she wasn't looking. It was surreal to hear words she'd normally speak herself coming from Cruella's mouth. Before she could stop herself, Miranda's tiredness took over what was left of her patience. "Have you taken leave of your senses entirely? Of course, I've taken care of our family. I've been the one here walking the floor night after night with Mirella crying her heart out. She refuses to sleep until she's too exhausted to remain awake any longer. She won't eat without a battle. Why your presence is so necessary, I will never know. I finally get some peace and quiet from your constant insanity and the baby loses hers."

"Our baby is not insane!" Cruella shrieked.

"No, she is not. She merely has a mother who is," Miranda shot back. "I finally get her quiet for a few minutes and in you storm screeching at the top of your lungs like a banshee trying to wake her back up again."

"I was not screeching," Cruella screeched. "I was calling out a greeting to those I love hoping for a similar response."

"Will you please stop shouting!" Miranda responded, raising her voice to a near shout of her own. "The baby—"

"The baby is sleeping peacefully for the first time in days," Andy interrupted sleepily from the top of the stairs. She covered her mouth as she gave a wide yawn which barely distorted her large grin. "And I suddenly feel like I can do the same. Welcome home, Cruella baby. We've missed you. I'm going back to bed. When you two are finished, come on up and I'll greet you properly, Cruella." She turned and disappeared back in the direction of their bedroom.

Miranda felt herself deflate as the tension fled her body. "Our baby, our Andréa, they couldn't rest peacefully because you weren't here for me to argue with," she murmured in amazement. "What does that say about our family?"

"Why, it says that we work, of course," Cruella responded with a maniacal gleam. "I have so missed our little discussions as well."

Miranda nodded, feeling as if she too could rest for the first time in days.

"Come along, dearest," Cruella encouraged, linking arms with her. "I'll pour us a dram and then it's off to bed with you. I could use a bit of a lie down myself come to think of it. I haven't slept all that well either. No matter how I yelled and threatened my staff it just wasn't the same."

Miranda let herself be led up the stairs, shaking her head in wonder. As lunatic as their interactions might seem, they did work and even the smallest member of their family knew it.


End file.
